When Dreams Become Nightmares
by Scarlett88
Summary: The Ewing family reels after a terrible explosion threatens the very lives they cherish.
1. Chapter 1: Explosion

**Dallas is the sole property of Warner Brothers**

J.R. Ewing quickly pushed the button to the elevator in the Ewing building. _Something is definitely wrong_ he muttered. _What did Angelica mean by 'it's too late'? What happened to Jamie and Jack? All I heard was some loud explosion. Why is this elevator taking so damn long? _J.R. slammed his fingers into the button one more time before it opened. He ran in and shut it, praying to get out of the building without any hassle, not paying attention to the elevator opening next to him.

_I have to make sure that he's all right, _Sue Ellen Ewing said to herself as she hurried up the elevator to the Ewing building. _I do not like him going to see Angelica, that woman is crazy. If something is wrong, I have to help him_. The ride up the elevator proved exceedingly slow. Thoughts raced through her mind about her husband. _Lord, please let my husband be alright. I cannot lose him now; we're finally in a good place in our marriage._ The door opened with a quiet ding, and Sue Ellen ran out of the elevator, not noticing that the one next to her was closing. "J.R.! J.R.!" Sue Ellen ran into his office, hoping he would still be there.

His office was empty. _Maybe he's on his way home_. A briefcase filled with money sat on J.R.'s desk. Sue Ellen ventured toward it, wondering why it was still there.

J.R. ran out of the building, heading for the parking lot. _I've got to find Jack!_ As J.R. ran he noticed his wife's car in the parking lot. "Sue Ellen!" J.R. screamed, running towards the building.

A large explosion shook the entire Ewing building. A harsh fire began as pieces flew onto the street. "Sue Ellen!" J.R. cried, running towards the fire, not caring about what happened to him in the meantime.

"Mr. Ewing!" a policeman pulled J.R. away from the building. "Mr. Ewing get back to safety."

"My wife is in there!" he screamed, pushing past the man.

"Mr. Ewing!"

"Get out of my way!"

Another police officer pulled J.R. away onto the street as an ambulance raced down the road, coming towards the crowd. "My wife is in there!" J.R. shouted. "You have to let me find her!"

"You have to let us do our job, Mr. Ewing."

J.R. glared at the man before him. "You listen to me! I pay your salary and you are going to do what I say!" J.R. struggled to climb over them as firemen arrived on the scene, running to the building.

"Our men will find her, Mr. Ewing, you can count on that."

* * *

"Ray, the house is perfect," Donna Krebbs squealed, taking a step through the front door.

"It should be, Ray Krebbs said proudly, "I spent months working on it."

"When can we move in?"

"As soon as we get the furniture," Ray said. "I've already picked out a room for Tony."

"I'm sure he'll love it."

"You know, Ray, I never thought we could do it. Adopt Tony, make him part of our family. So much has happened over the past few months."

"To think we almost lost," Ray said quietly. Fighting for custody of Tony was one of the worst battles for the Krebbs clan. Old demons from the past had been resurrected when the school decided that Ray may not be the father for Tony after pulling the plug on his nephew Mickey Trotter a few years ago. Mickey was near death, and he wanted to go. He asked Ray to end his life and turn of his machine. When Ray hit the button, he did not know what he would be in for.

"Things are finally looking up for us," Donna said.

Ray hugged his wife. "You and I have gone through enough problems to last a lifetime. Now all we have to do is sit back, relax, and live life."

"I can't wait."

* * *

"The house is going to be so quiet without Ray, Donna, Jenna, and Charlie," Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow noted solemnly. "I don't think I can stand it."

"We have J.R, Sue Ellen, and John Ross," Clayton reassured. "And Ray and Donna are not moving far away, just down the road."

"I was getting so attached to Donna. She deserves to be happy with Tony."

"Now, Ellie, you know that they'll visit."

"It's not the same; the house will be so empty."

"With J.R. and Sue Ellen going at the rate their going at, we may have more grandchildren."

Miss Ellie smiled. "I am so happy that those two have patched things up. For a while, I was wondering if things would ever be good between them."

"I wonder how long it will last," Clayton said quietly.

"Clayton!" Miss Ellie protested.

"Nothing against, J.R., but he doesn't have the best track record with Sue Ellen. I don't want to see her hurt."

"I don't think she will be. Don't you believe in second chances?"

"How many chances has J.R. had with her?"

"I think this is it. They are both committed to working on their marriage. They're finally in the same place in life and are ready to commit."

"For Sue Ellen's sake, I hope you're right."

* * *

The fire blazed a reddish glow highlighting the faces of onlookers as the Ewing building came tumbling down. It was a miracle that no one was in the office that day – no one except Sue Ellen Ewing.

"Sue Ellen!" J.R. cried running towards the gurney that carried his wife. "Oh no." J.R. looked down at the face that he had just seen a few hours ago. Her porcelain skin became victim to the vicious fire.

"Will she be okay?" he asked a nearby hospital worker.

"We're taking her to Dallas Memorial right now."

"Can I ride with her?" he asked. "I don't want her to be alone."

"Mr. Ewing, we usually don't allow other people in the vehicle with the patient."

"It's alright," a supervisor said, coming to J.R.'s rescue. "Come with us, Mr. Ewing."

J.R. nodded, his eyes never leaving his wife's body. "Darlin', you just have to pull through," he quietly sobbed. "I can't live my life without you.

* * *

Pamela Barnes Ewing Graison rested her weary head on the pillow of the elegant bed and breakfast in San Fernando Valley, California. Just a few short days ago she had married her lover Mark Grayson in a simple ceremony at her mother's estate.

_I deserve to be happy_, Pam murmured dreamily. She had been through so much in the past few years. Her life began to downslide when she divorced her first husband Bobby Ewing. It wasn't something that she or he wanted – outside forces from within their families drove them apart.

J.R. Ewing and Katherine Wentworth. Pam had forgiven J.R. for the years of cruelty he had dished out to her during her stay at Southfork. He had tried everything in his power to separate her from Bobby. But nothing worked; Bobby and Pam remained committed to one another. Pam had hated J.R. for years, he went further than going after her – he attacked her brother Cliff, breaking him in business every chance he got.

_They say that time heals all wounds, and J.R. has made a real effort to change his ways, he's even been kind to Cliff._ Pam wanted to believe that there was good in every person, that there were no 'evil people' in the world. But that wasn't true. Katherine Wentworth was the 'evil person' who ran down Bobby, with the hope of hitting Pam

Pam carefully slid the desk drawer open and took out a recent photo of Bobby. _We were going to get married, we were going to become a family again with Christopher._ She struggled to hide the tears that were forming. _If Bobby were here right now, he __wouldn't want me to be sad, he'd want me to be happy…even if it was with someone else. And Mark is a wonderful man, he's good to Christopher and to me. _

Pam pulled on her bathrobe as she heard the sound of running water from the bathroom shut off. _I'm going to make my marriage with Mark work, I've made peace with Bobby…I had to…he's…_

A sudden thud from the shower made Pam run into the bathroom. "Mark, Mark, are you alright." Pam opened the door. "Oh my God."

* * *

Clayton Farlow came back into the ranch house, muddy after a hard day with the cattle. With Ray starting a home of his own, Clayton considered it his job to teach the new ranch hand – Ben Stivers – the latest worker at the ranch. Clayton was skeptical about Ray moving away and starting a cattle raising business, but he had enough faith in his friend to join him in the venture.

Clayton had been feeling restless after selling his old refineries. He could laugh at the way Ellie secretly bought them up, not wanting to see her husband unhappy. But it was a new era, he no longer had ties to the Southern Cross, and the family he had left were the Ewings and his son Dusty, wherever he was at the moment.

"Clayton!"

Clayton darted into the house when he heard Ellie yell. "What is it, what's wrong?"

"There's been an explosion at Ewing Oil." Her eyes were locked on the television screen as a slew of reporters raced to be the first to broadcast the news. They didn't give any thought to the people involved – this was just a fantastic story.

"No." Clayton said, helping Ellie into her chair.

"J.R. was going to the office today," Ellie wept softly.

"On a Sunday?" Clayton asked incredulously. "J.R. doesn't go into the office on Sundays."

Ellie turned to her husband. "Oh Clayton, I can't lose both of my sons, first Bobby, now J.R."

Clayton held Ellie close. "Now Ellie, we don't know that J.R. was in the building when it happened. Have the reporters said anything?"

"No one is releasing details. Sue Ellen had gone down to Ewing Oil to find J.R."

Clayton's face fell when Ellie mentioned Sue Ellen. "She did?"

"I'd like to think that they're both safe, but I just don't know."

"Ellie, they'll call. All we can do is wait."

Ellie squeezed Clayton's hand. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Clayton Farlow."

The phone in the living room rang, and Ellie didn't wait for Teresa to get it. "Hello?"

"Miss Ellie?"

"Pam?" Ellie could hear a muffled female voice. She was crying, barely able to speak. "Pam, is that you?"

"Miss Ellie," Pam cried, "Mark…Mark is dead."

* * *

J.R. anxiously paced around in the hospital corridor. The doctors refused to let him see his wife, insisting that they needed privacy to evaluate her properly. _If only I had been the one in the building when it exploded_, J.R. thought as he looked through the window at his wife. He angrily pounded the glass with all of his fury. _Why did you have __to come down to Ewing Oil like that anyway? I told you I had everything under control. But you worried about me, and you came…you came for me._

"Mr. Ewing?" The voice of a nearby attendee made J.R. focus.

"Is there any news on my wife."

"You should go home, Mr. Ewing. We'll call you as soon as we can. Right now, all we can do is try to bring Mrs. Ewing back to consciousness."

"Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"There's severe burns and scars from the fire, but those should heal in time. Her eyesight, however –"

"What about her eyesight!" J.R. demanded, cutting him off.

"We are checking the eyes for damages. Mr. Ewing, you aren't helping anyone by being here."

"The only person that I am concerned about, is the woman lying in that bed. When she wakes up, I want to be the very first person she is. And if that means that I have to camp out in this damn hospital than I will."

"Yes sir," the attendee nodded, knowing that he wasn't going to be getting anywhere with the powerful J.R. Ewing. As long as he wasn't disturbing the professionals, or the patients and visitors, he could stay as long as he wished.

J.R. anxiously dialed Southfork. He had tried all day to get in touch with Jack, but the phone was disconnected.

"Southfork Ranch." The familiar voice of the Ewing maid, Teresa made J.R. skip a beat. He didn't want to call any of the family to the hospital, but he knew that they had a right to be there.

"Teresa, this is J.R., put Mamma on the phone."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Ewing."

J.R. tapped his fingers on the wall, his eyes never leaving room 233A, where Sue Ellen was being held.

"J.R.!" Ellie cried. "J.R. why didn't you call sooner, I have been worried sick about you. Do you have any idea what happened? The Ewing Building has been blown to smithereens."

"Mamma, I need you to come down to Dallas Memorial Hospital."

Ellie nearly dropped the phone . "Are you hurt?"

"No, Mamma, I'm fine." J.R, swallowed as he tried to speak, "It's Sue Ellen."

* * *

Pamela stood in the bleak and lonely office of Mark's personal attorney, Herbert Blackwell. He had been speaking for over an hour, but Pam hadn't heard a word she said.

_Dead….he had a heart attack in the shower. I should have been there with him, if I had gotten to him sooner I could have called for an ambulance. This is all happening so quickly. I didn't even know he was at risk. When he came back he was so evasive about his health, I was afraid to ask him about it. I assumed that everything was okay, that Mark was healthy and happy. But he wasn't…he was at risk the entire year that he was with me._

"Mrs. Graison?"

Pam's head snapped up at the unfamiliar title. "Ewing, my name is Mrs. Ewing," she said softly. _I haven't been married to Mark long enough to keep his last name. We haven't even been married a week._

"Very well, Mrs. Ewing. We'll be contacting you to settle Mr. Graison's estate."

"Estate?" Pamela questioned.

"Your husband was a very wealthy man, Mrs. Ewing. Stocks, bonds, property, investments, he did business all over the world. Mr. Graison had no other living relatives to speak of, which means that you, as he wife, would be entitled to everything."

_Everything._ Pam couldn't wrap her mind around the events of the day. Seeing his lifeless body in the shower, already becoming cold, Pam was at a loss for what to do. She remembered talking to the ambulance and calling Miss Ellie, who was taking care of Christopher while she was on her honeymoon. _Christopher, what am I going to tell Christopher?_

"Mrs. Ewing?"

"Yes?" she said distractedly, meeting Mr. Blackwell's eyes.

"Would you like to set up an appointment to go over Mr. Graison's estate. We need to wrap all of his affairs as soon as possible."

Pam frowned at the lawyer before her. "Mr. Blackwell, my husband is dead. I don't think now is the proper time to be discussing finances."

Mr. Blackwell frowned impatiently. He found Mrs. Ewing to be a very peculiar woman. It wasn't every day that a husband died on a honeymoon. She seemed very distant, as if she wasn't even paying attention to him. His first thought was that she would be thrilled to inherit Mark Graison's fortunes. But she didn't seem interested in the money either. All he wanted was to wrap up his duties with Mr. Graison and put him to bed, move on to another client. But Mrs. Ewing seemed bent on dragging the estate reading longer than necessary. "However unpleasant you may find this to be, Mrs. Ewing, the issue needs to be taken care of right away."

Pam stood up, ready to leave the odious gentleman in front of her. "I'll be in touch with you, Mr. Blackwell."

"See that you will, Mrs. Ewing."

* * *

Ellie and Clayton ran through a slew of reporters as they made their way through the doors of Dallas Memorial Hospital. Word had gotten out about the explosion at the Ewing Building, and the entire family was being hounded by press.

"If I told you once I told you 100 times, get those damn reporters out of my hospital!" Dr. Derek Armstrong, the Chief of Staff at the hospital had his hands full with problems today. Mr. Ewing refused to let up and leave his wife's hospital room, impatiently looking out the window while the staff evaluated her condition. The presence of Ellie Ewing Farlow and Clayton Farlow only added to the chaos.

"J.R.!" Ellie called through the doors, eying her son by the nurse's station. She wrapped her son in a hug. "You're alright, I'm so happy that you're alright."

"Where's Sue Ellen?" Clayton asked quickly, looking around the hospital.

"She has burns from the explosion, but the doctors are saying that they aren't as severe as they thought, and that they'll be healing within a matter of months."

"Is she awake?" Ellie asked.

"Not yet, but the doctor's are confident that she'll get out of her coma soon. Where's John Ross?"

"We left him and Christopher with Ray, Donna, and Tony. The boys will be fine."

"I can't let John Ross find out about his mother like this. I'll tell him on my own when I get some answers."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Clayton asked.

"I was in the parking lot when it happened. Sue Ellen…she was in my office when the bomb went off."

"Bomb?" Clayton asked agitatedly, wondering how a bomb could find its way to Ewing Oil.

"Angelica Nero, she planted a bomb in a briefcase."

"My God, J.R., you mean to tell me that you kept doing business with the same woman that put you and Jack in danger when you were in Martinique?"

"Jack," J.R. stammered, remembering that he was trying to get in touch with his cousin. "Mamma, Clayton, have either one of you heard from Jack today?"

"No, I haven't," Ellie said.

"Me neither," Clayton said, shaking his head.

"He was the last person I talked to before the bomb went off," J.R. said. "Clayton, can you call Ray and tell him to find Jack. I'm sure he's still in Dallas."

"Of course." Clayton went off to the payphone while J.R. and Ellie stopped by Sue Ellen's room. "There she is," J.R. breathed. He gripped his mother's hand for support. Sue Ellen was hooked up to machines as doctors deciphered what happened to her in the explosion. J.R. looked up the ceiling in desperation. _Lord, give me one more chance with Sue Ellen. I promise to do right by her if it's the last thing I do._

* * *

Far away from the turmoil in Dallas, Cliff Barnes returned to his hotel after a long day's work. After Pam and Mark's wedding he had received a phone call from his crew Gold Canyon 340, telling him that they needed him to inspect some of the pipes. Jamie had wanted to go with him, but after Jamie's accident the last time she came down to the Gulf, Cliff insisted that she stay behind. It was a routine checkup and he was only going to be gone for a few days.

Cliff took off his jacket and crawled into a bed, a smile forming on his face. For once in his life everything was in order. He had a wonderful wife in Jamie, he had Pam and Mark for family, his business was solid – no one could touch him, people were lined up to make deals with him –, and the best part of all was that he had finally called a truce between himself J.R. Ewing. No one had been more surprised than him when J.R. came in peace the night of the Graison Research fundraiser. He was cordial with everyone at night, standing by Sue Ellen's side and allowing her the spotlight.

_If J.R. can be the bigger person and forget the Barnes Ewing Feud so can I. _After all, he had more important things to focus on, like starting a family with Jamie and increasing the wealth of Barnes Wentworth. Yes, Cliff was becoming a force to be reckoned with in Dallas, a far cry from the tiny little attorney he once was. Now he had everything he ever wanted and more. _Everything has fallen into place._

* * *

Clayton cornered J.R. by the coffee machine. He had some unresolved questions that needed some immediate answering. Clayton had a feeling that it was J.R. and his lousy double-dealings that sent Sue Ellen to the hospital and the Ewing Building into flames. "J.R."

"Did you get in touch with Jack?" J.R. asked.

"I called Ray and he's out searching the area. J.R., I want to know what happened."

"Weren't you watching the news? You saw what happened, the Ewing Building blew up."

"What were you thinking, doing business with Angelica Nero? She's the very same person that almost got you and Jack killed in Martinique."

J.R. let out a breath of anger. "I don't have to explain anything to you, Farlow!" J.R. said angrily. "The only person that I am concerned about is Sue Ellen."

"Is that so?" Clayton challenged, coming towards him.

"She is my wife and I love her, and I don't give a damn whether you believe me or not."

"She could have been killed by your greed and stupidity!" Clayton was ready to punch J.R. in the mouth. He was showing no remorse for the day's events.

"Don't you think I know that," J.R. said quietly, turning away. His eyes were beginning to fill with tears. "Do you think I wanted her to come down to the office? I was heading home to be with her…everything would have been fine."

Clayton softened, realizing that now was not the time to hit J.R. with guilt. "What happened to Angelica Nero?"

"Harry McSween arrested her. She'll be put away for life in some maximum security prison…but that doesn't matter now."

"You care for Sue Ellen?"

J.R. turned towards his father-in-law. J.R. had very little in common with Clayton Farlow, but the one thing they shared was a love for Sue Ellen Ewing. Clayton had been her rock when she had divorced J.R., and he was the man that gave her away when she married J.R. again. If Clayton were to have had a daughter, he would have wanted one just like her.

"Things were good between us, we were both happy. I…I was going to make a commitment to her."

"Will you still be there for her, no matter what happens?"

J.R. looked at Clayton with disgust. "You don't know me at all," he said gruffly as he walked away.

"Mr. Ewing!" Dr. Armstrong stopped J.R. in his tracks. "We have some news about your wife."

* * *

Jack Ewing sat alone in a dark and empty apartment. _It should have been me. That bomb was meant for me. I was going to leave Dallas, find a new life somewhere else. Jamie…she was an innocent victim, caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm her older brother, I should have been there for her, protected her. _

Jack angrily thought back to when the car was rigged. After talking with J.R., he knew that Angelica Nero was the mastermind behind the incident, but when did it happen. _I was with the car the entire time, I would have seen someone doing something. _Jack's head snapped forward when he remembered the Pam and Mark's wedding. _There was a valet there that day, he could have placed a bomb in their easily…one of Angelica's cronies._

Jack threw his empty glass of bourbon against the wall, smashing it into a million pieces. He didn't want answers, he wanted justice, and he wasn't going to be able to leave Dallas until he found it.

* * *

J.R. stood by Sue Ellen's room window looking in. She had fallen asleep. Her light brown hair messed around her forehead, J.R. wanted to go in and touch her, comfort her, apologize to her.

"Tell me the truth, doctor," J.R. said solemnly.

"The explosion – it caused a great deal of bleeding within her eyes…."

J.R. gasped in horror, "Doctor, is she blind?"

Dr. Armstrong nodded solemnly. He hated giving bad news to family members, but as Chief of the hospital, it was his responsibility, family had a right to know the truth. "Mrs. Ewing is suffering from bilateral vitreous hemorrhages , she's lost her eyesight."

"No," J.R. stammered. "Can something be done?"

"The excess blood in the retina needs to be reabsorbed back into the body. It's – it's going to take time for that to happen, it won't be over night."

J.R. batted his eyes to keep him crying. _This shouldn't be happening to her, not my Sue Ellen._ "So there is nothing that can be done?"

Dr. Armstrong shook his head. "Mrs. Ewing has been through a very traumatic experience, therapy is the very best thing for her. She needs to work with her blindness, heighten her other senses. There are several good centers around the Dallas area."

"Can I see her?"

Dr. Armstrong nodded as the men walked into the room. J.R. gently touched Sue Ellen's hand."

"As you can see, we've been able to treat the burns and scarring very quickly, in a matter of months, her skin will be healed. Your wife is very lucky."

"Lucky," J.R. said quietly, "I've blinded her, stolen her eyesight."

"Remember, the blindness is temporary."

"How temporary doctor?" J.R. said in a harsh whisper, not wanting to awaken Sue Ellen.

"It differs with every case, Mr. Ewing. As I already told her, therapy is the very best treatment for her."

"That's not enough."

Dr. Armstrong turned towards Mr. Ewing. "It will have to be enough."

J.R. opened his mouth to speak, but was startled when he saw Sue Ellen move.

* * *

Donna Culver Krebbs anxiously chopped carrots into a bowl while John Ross, Christopher, and Tony played with trains. There was so much that had happened within the last few hours. Donna hoped that wherever Ray was, he would find Jack and come home safely. She didn't like the thought of being alone right now. Anything could happen

"Aunt Donna?" John Ross came into the room and gently tugged at Donna's apron. "When are my parents coming home?"

Donna touched John Ross' cheek. She didn't know many details about the events of the day. All she knew was that Sue Ellen was in the hospital, and that John Ross wasn't to know a thing. "Soon, Sweetheart, really soon."

"I hope so. We were supposed to go to the water park today."

A small smile crept across Donna's mouth. "Why don't, you Tony, Christopher, Ray, and I go to the water park tomorrow."

"Really?" John Ross smiled.

"Really. I've never been, but I'd love to see it."

John Ross laughed as he turned around, asking Donna one more question. "If something was really wrong with my parents, would you tell me?"

Donna froze in her tracks, debating between lying and protecting John Ross, or telling him the truth and accepting the consequences.

* * *

"J.R.," Sue Ellen said faintly. "J.R., are you here?"

J.R. rushed to Sue Ellen's side, taking her hand in his. "I'm right here, Honey." He gently kissed her fingertips, relishing every part of her that he thought he lost.

"What happened? All I remember is coming to the office, looking for you, and then I felt the room move around me, and I fell."

"I'll tell you later, Darlin'," J.R. promised. "I'm just, I'm so happy that you're alright."

"I was so worried about you, J.R. I – I thought that you were in danger." Sue Ellen began to tremble as J.R. touched her shoulder.

"You need to relax, Darlin'."

"You're doing remarkably well, Mrs. Ewing," Dr. Armstrong assured her.

"Dr., could you please take the bandages off my eyes?"

J.R. felt a lump in his throat. He had to tell her the truth. "Sugar, you, you aren't wearing any bandages."

* * *

Ray Krebbs swore under his breath as the truck crossed onto the highway. He had been to every bar and restaurant in town and he found no sign of Jack Ewing anywhere. The moon was beginning to peak out from beneath the clouds and he knew that it was a sign that he should be stopping. _Maybe I should call the police. Clayton said it was really important to find Jack._

Ray continued to drive as he passed Cliff Barnes' apartment. The last he heard, Cliff and Jamie were going down to the Gulf to check on the pipes. _Maybe Jack is staying at Cliff and Jamie's._

Running out of options, Ray bounded up the stairs and knocked on the door. "Jack, are you in there, it's me, Ray."

The door slowly creaked open, revealing a disheveled Jack, holding a half-gone beer bottle.

"What happened?"

"Jamie," Jack said sullenly, as he threw his bottle against the wall, creating a stain, "is gone."

* * *

Sue Ellen grasped J.R.'s hand. "I don't understand," she said softly.

"Sugar, I'm so sorry," J.R. said quietly, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"Mrs. Ewing," Dr. Armstrong began.

"Are you saying that I'm blind?" Sue Ellen whispered, unable to speak.

"Mrs. Ewing, you're suffering from bilateral vitreous hemorrhages, there's a great amount of blood in your retina…"

"I'm blind?" Sue Ellen began to cry. "How-how…"

"Sue Ellen, the doctor says it isn't permanent," J.R. said softly.

"Chances are you'll be seeing again in no time," Dr. Armstrong said.

"I want to talk to the doctor alone," Sue Ellen said coolly, releasing J.R.'s hand.

A look of hurt that Sue Ellen couldn't see crossed J.R.'s face as he gently stroked her hair. "Let me be there for you, Sue Ellen."

"You've done enough, J.R."

J.R. blinked his eyes to prevent the tears from falling. He deserved everything she was giving him; he had put her – his whole family in danger – and now someone was paying the price, but it was the wrong person.

The door clicked closed as Dr. Armstrong came toward Sue Ellen. "Mrs. Ewing…."

"Please call me, Sue Ellen. I have a feeling that we'll be communicating quite a bit and Mrs. Ewing will be getting old very fast."

"Sue Ellen, as I was saying earlier, the force of the explosion caused some damage to your eyes."

"And there is nothing that you can do to take the blood away from the retina?"

"Sue Ellen, you're going to need to be patient, to work with the blindness. I've recommended some therapy groups to J.R…."

"Therapy!" Sue Ellen snapped. "You're making me out to be a nut job!"

"Not at all Sue Ellen; you've been through a traumatic experience, it's only natural for you to seek help."

"What I need, is the ability to see."

"Well you won't be having that for some time, Mrs. Ewing."

Sue Ellen began to cry. "It isn't fair, I, I didn't plan on this happening."

Dr. Armstrong took Sue Ellen's hand. "The hospital is going to do everything it can to make you better, Sue Ellen. That's a promise."

Sue Ellen smiled through her tears. "Tell me everything that happened to me because of the accident."

* * *

Pamela Barnes slowly pulled her car into the forgotten driveway of the Wentworth mansion. _I'm so glad that I didn't sell the house right away._ She let out a heavy sigh as waved at Louise, who rushed out to greet her.

"Mrs. Ewing, I'm terribly sorry about Senor Graison."

Pam nodded her thanks as Louise took the bags from the car.

"Are you staying on in Dallas?"

"Yes," Pam said slowly. "Christopher and I will be moving in by the end of the week."

Louise nodded, not wanting to pry into Pam's affairs.

Pam eyed the backyard and began to silently cry. She had been married to Mark in that very place a few short days ago. Every dream that Pam ever had was now being taken from her as she was forced to start a new life over.

_I need to be strong for Christopher. Right now, that baby is all that I have._ Christopher didn't know about Mark's fate, and Pam wasn't quite sure how to break it to him. He had been very distraught over losing Bobby, and he had gotten attached to Mark very quickly. _How do I tell him that it will just be him and I?_

Pam got into her car and began to drive. She couldn't deal with the big, empty house right now. What she needed was to see her family, Christopher, and know that she was safe, that she could move past Mark's death.

Southfork was eerily quiet as Pam drove through the white gates. _Where is everyone_? Pam finally spotted John Ross and Christopher playing catch with Tony.

"Mamma," Christopher cried as he jumped into his mother's arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Hi, Aunt Pam," John Ross said.

"Are you boys here by yourself?" Pam asked incredulously.

"Aunt Donna is in the kitchen."

"Mamma, can I play ball with John Ross and Tony?" Christopher asked as he struggled to get down.

"Of course you can," Pam said as she headed in to find Donna. She found Mrs. Krebbs going through papers in the kitchen. "Hi, stranger."

"Pam." Donna pulled her friend into a hug. "I'm so sorry about Mark." She gestured for her to sit down. "How are you feeling?"

"Everything is happening so quickly." Donna grabbed two water glasses and filled them up. "Donna, you will not believe the lecherous lawyer that I have to deal with. Herbert Blackwell – he has no respect for the dead whatsoever. All he wants to do is settle Mark's affairs and move onto his next client, pretend that he never existed."

"Did you have any idea about Mark's health?"

"No, none. He was never very open with me about his health. I assumed that after all of that time he spent at the clinic, he would have been healthier than ever, but I was wrong…"

"What are you going to do now?"

"Well, Christopher and I will be moving back to the Dallas mansion. I just – I can't imagine starting my life all over again, going through another death."

"I know what you mean," Donna said softly. "With Jamie…"

"Jamie?" Pam said quickly, "what happened to Jamie?"

Donna's eyes grew wide. "I – I thought Miss Ellie told you what happened when you spoke on the phone."

"Did something else happen?"

Donna took Pam's hand and pulled her into the living room. "None of the boys know what's going on, so you have to be quiet. There was a bomb set off, in Jack's car, Jamie was in it when it happened."

Pam covered her hands with her mouth. "Oh, no."

"And there was another bomb at Ewing Oil."

"Ewing Oil? Is J.R. alright?"

"J.R. is fine, Sue Ellen – Sue Ellen isn't."

* * *

"Bilateral what?" Ellie asked, confused. J.R. sat his mother and Clayton down as he struggled to tell them the news.

"You're saying Sue Ellen is blind?" Clayton asked, astonished.

"The doctors think that it's only temporary," J.R. said.

"Temporary or not, you have ruined that woman's life!" Clayton shot back angrily.

"Clayton," Ellie said in sadness.

"Don't you think I know that, Farlow?" J.R. said angrily.

"I think the only thing you were concerned was that precious Marinos Shipping deal."

"Clayton!" Ellie urged.

J.R. stood up in frustration. "Farlow, you are not a member of this family, and you do not know what is going on for this family right now. You have no right to judge to me!" J.R. walked off angrily.

"Clayton, how could you?" Ellie said sternly. "Why do you need to make J.R. feel worse than he already does?"

"Because once again, this is his fault, he should take responsibility for his actions."

"He is taking responsibility for his actions, Clayton!" Ellie stood up. It was often that she sided with J.R. against Clayton, but this time she felt Clayton was in the wrong. "You need to give him a chance to prove himself." Ellie walked off, leaving an upset Clayton behind her.

Sue Ellen listened as the doctor described her scarring. _At least it isn't permanent, though I won't be seeing the scars anyway._ She heard a gentle knock at the door and turned her head.

"Your husband, Sue Ellen," Dr. Armstrong said.

"Send him in," Sue Ellen nodded.

J.R. came armed with yellow roses as he opened the door. "Hello, Honey," he said softly, praying that she wouldn't throw him out of the room.

"Dr. Armstrong, may I have a moment alone with my husband?"

"Of course, Sue Ellen." Dr. Armstrong carefully closed the door, leaving husband and wife alone at last.

"J.R…."

"Darlin', before you say anything, you had every right to throw me out of the room, everything is my fault, you were right about Angelica."

"J.R., I shouldn't have treated you that way."

J.R. took a seat next to her, gently reaching for her hand. "Sue Ellen, I did this to you, if I had been more careful…"

"Then none of this would have happened," Sue Ellen finished. "You can't say that, J.R."

"I love you, I should have protected you."

Sue Ellen carefully traced J.R.'s fingers, longing to see him with her eyes. "I know that you love me, and I love you – and John Ross. Where is John Ross?"

"He's with Ray and Donna."

"I miss him."

"So do I."

"The doctor says I can go home soon."

"We've already got Raul and Teresa setting the house up for you."

"J.R. – I really thought I was going to lose you," Sue Ellen began to cry. "And, I'd, I'd rather be blind than lose you completely."

J.R. was touched by her gentle words. "I love you, Sue Ellen Ewing, and I promise to be there for you every step of the way."

"We still have each other."

J.R. cleared his throat, "Forever and always."

* * *

Cliff Barnes slammed the phone in his hotel room onto the base. He had been trying to contact Jamie for the past twelve hours and he was getting nowhere. The pipes on Gold Canyon 340 were in solid condition and Cliff was ready to go home.

_Why isn't she picking up the phone?"_ Cliff thought in frustration. _There's no point in having good news unless you have someone to share it with._ He had been battling second thoughts about leaving her for a very long time, and he had finally convinced himself that he made the right decision in leaving Jamie for a few days. _It was better to leave her for a few days than to have her risk hurting herself coming down here with me._

Cliff flicked on the television as he picked up the phone once again. His eyes were drawn to a stunning news reporter in the middle of the screen.

"We have more details about the tragic accident that occurred in Dallas, Texas just a few days ago."

Cliff leaned forward, turning up the volume on the set.

"There was an explosion at Ewing Oil."


	2. Chapter 2: Repercussions

The nighttime sky was decorated with millions of dazzling stars, showing off their splendor for those so lucky to take the chance to stop and view them. Sadly, none of the stargazers were Ewings.

J.R. entered the house, his feet clogging on the ground. He had just seen Sue Ellen at the hospital. The doctors told him that she was doing much better, was active, and that her scars were taking a turn for the better.

Yet his visits to his wife always left him melancholy in the end. He knew that he was responsible for putting her in the position that she was in. He had stolen her eyesight, leaving her defenseless and vulnerable.

There was no escaping Sue Ellen's condition, and J.R. and the family were ready to realize this. What Sue Ellen needed was time – time to heal, and J.R. was going to give her all of the time, affection, care, and anything else she ever needed. It was the least he could do after putting her through the Angelica ordeal.

Angelica Nero. Her current predicament was the only bright spot for J.R. After Harry had her declaration of killing Grace and Nicholas, and her intention to kill J.R. and Jack, she was taken away to Dallas State Prison. She was looking at a life sentence with no chance of parole. Her life was now predetermined behind bars.

_She won't be able to hurt her anymore,_ J.R. said with a sigh as he opened John Ross' bedroom. John Ross III did not know that his mother was suffering from bilateral vitreous hemorrhages, that she was stricken blind and scarred. J.R. had seen to it that no one told John Ross, or any of the children about what happened at Ewing Oil. John Ross had to know first, and J.R. was going to be the one to tell him.

"Daddy?" John Ross asked, sleepily, rubbing his eyes back and forth.

"Hey, Buddy," J.R. said gravely, trying to minimize his sadness. _This isn't permanent; Sue Ellen will come out of this alright in the end._

"Where's Mamma?" John Ross asked, sitting up. "I've been listening to the tapes that she made me every night, but it isn't the same as having her here with me."

"I know it isn't. You miss your mamma, don't you?"

John Ross nodded.

"John Ross, we need to have a talk."

"Man to man?" John Ross asked excitedly.

J.R. let out a tiny laugh. He loved his son more than anything on Earth. "Yes, man to man." J.R. sat down on the bed, holding his son in his arms. "Your mamma was in an accident a few days ago, son."

John Ross' eyes opened wide with fright. "Is she okay?"

"Yes and no," J.R. said softly.

"Is she going away like Uncle Bobby," John Ross asked quietly, fearing the worst for his beloved mother.

"Oh, no, John Ross," J.R. assured him, "it's nothing like that. Your mamma's in the hospital right now. There was an explosion at Ewing Oil."

"Where you work," John Ross said softly, snuggling up to his father. "Where's Mamma?"

"Mamma was burned by the explosion, there are some scars on her body, but they'll heal in time."

"Then she's okay?" John Ross asked quietly, fighting the tears in his eyes. His father had always told him that real men don't cry, that they don't let others see them that way.

"Son, your mamma – your mamma," J.R. began to blink his eyes, trying to fight off the tears that were plaguing him. Over the past few days, he had cried more than he had the entire year. The last major cry before the explosion had been Bobby's death, a little over a year ago. "Your mamma lost her eyesight."

"She's blind?" John Ross asked, no longer able to control the tears.

"It's only temporary, but yes, she's blind."

John Ross began to shake back and forth. "Mamma."

J.R. smoothed John Ross' head. "I know, and I'm sorry," he whispered.

John Ross looked up at his father. "Daddy, is it alright to cry for mamma?"

J.R. looked at his son carefully, a tear slowly rolling down his cheek. "Yes, son, it's okay to cry for Mamma." The two John Ross' lay on the bed, holding one another, letting their feelings take control as they cried for the woman they loved.

Downstairs, someone else was experiencing a very different emotion.

"What do mean you can't get a flight out from Mexico?" Pam snapped at an airline service. "I don't care if the weather is bad out there, this is an emergency!" Pam ran her fingers through her hair in aggravated motions.

After several long hours of trying to get in touch with Cliff, she finally got a hold of him. He heard about the explosion of Ewing Oil, and he asked her for details right away, believing that J.R. had been the one caught in the inferno.

Pam had no choice but to tell her brother of his wife's death over the phone. She suggested that he come home immediately, which was what he was trying to do, but there was a tropical storm striking the Mexican coast, leaving everyone without a way out.

"Do you know who my family is!" Pam snapped, stunned that she would use such language with someone that she didn't even know. She hated using the Ewing name as a tool to use power, something that she had scolded Bobby about on several occasions.

Pam closed her eyes, remembering the conversation two hours ago.

_"Cliff, did you hear me, Cliff? Cliff say something!"_

_"She's gone."_

_"I'm sorry." Pam covered her mouth with her hands. She didn't even say goodbye to Jamie when she left for her honeymoon, she assumed that she would see her again._

_"That can't be!"_

_"Cliff, there was a bomb placed in Jack's car intended for Jack but it hit Jamie."_

_"Who did it?"_

_"Cliff…"_

_"Who put the bomb in the car!"_

_"Angelica Nero."_

_"She's doing business with J.R.! That bastard cheated her in some sort of scheme, so she tried to take it out on him and Jack, and got Jamie instead."_

_"Cliff…"_

_"Jamie's gone! Jamie's gone and J.R. gets away again, I can't believe…"_

_"Cliff…"_

_"Pam this isn't right..."_

_"Sue Ellen was blinded by the explosion in the Ewing Building!"_

_Cliff froze. "What?"_

_"She was going to see J.R., Angelica had placed another bomb in a briefcase, and the bomb went off when Sue Ellen was in the room."_

_"Oh my god is she alright?"_

_"J.R. says that she's temporarily blind. Cliff, I think you should come home now."_

"Mrs. Ewing, I am sorry but there are no flights."

"Can you try again?" Pam implored. "I wouldn't be asking if this wasn't an emergency."

"Mrs. Ewing we are doing everything we can."

"Well you aren't doing enough because my brother is still stranded at the Gulf!" Pam shouted.

Donna came into the room and eyed her friend. She had wisely chosen to stay at Southfork and help Miss Ellie and Clayton with whatever they needed. She had spent the day watching John Ross and Christopher, while the adults worked out the arrangements for Sue Ellen's imminent homecoming.

Donna gently touched her friend's hand. "I can take the phone, and try to get Cliff over here," she offered.

Pam nodded a grateful smile as she handed the phone to Donna, going in to check on Christopher. She had sat him down last night, in the backyard of the Wentworth mansion, and told him that it was going to be just them from now on.

_"I'm sorry, Mamma," Christopher said softly as he hugged his mother. "I know how much you loved him."_

_Pam looked down at her son. "I know you loved him too."_

_"He could never replace Daddy," Christopher said quietly, not sure if he was even aloud to mention his name in front of her anymore._

_Pam tilted her son's head up. "Sweetheart, Mark was never going to replace Daddy. We were going to start a new family with him. No one can replace Daddy."_

_"Promise?"_

_Pam realized that she had needed to have this talk with Christopher a long time ago. "I promise. You and me, we're going to be okay."_

_"I love you, Mamma."_

_"I love you too."_

He had handled Mark's death surprisingly well, this being the second death that Christopher was forced to face within a years time. Pam stood at the edge of the door, watching her baby sleep in his old room. Miss Ellie had insisted that Christopher keep his old room for when he visited, and Pam was glad that she agreed. _He looks so innocent, laying there under the covers, while the world is falling apart around him._

Pam continued to make her rounds in the Ewing house, stopping by John Ross' room. J.R. had fallen asleep with his son, the two barely fitting on his little twin bed.

_J.R. Ewing_. Part of her wanted to strangle him, to lash out at him for all of the trouble he had once again caused. But she couldn't, because he was suffering in the same way that she was. _Everyone has been affected by the explosion._ Cliff's anger was enough for both of them put together. She had struggled to handle him over the phone, knowing that part of his anger towards J.R. was shock over the incident. Like her, Cliff didn't say goodbye to Jamie, assuming that he would see her again. _You never know when you are going to say goodbye to your loved ones_, Pam murmured as she closed her eyes, thoughts of Mark…and Bobby haunting her.

* * *

Cliff Barnes woke up with a sharp headache raking his brain. He remembered very little of the previous night. There had been a frantic call to Pam, after hearing the events that took place at Ewing Oil; there had been Pam's news regarding Mark, a guy that Cliff considered to be a good friend, and a good match for his younger sister. And then there was Jamie.

_She's gone…this time she's gone for good._ Cliff had spent very little time with Jamie during their brief marriage. He hastily married her to get at her share of Ewing Oil, a third of which was intended for her, after an impending court case for ownership of Ewing Oil. Combined with the third that he was expecting for himself, he would have finally had control over Ewing Oil. With 66 of the shares, J.R. Ewing wouldn't have been able to touch him.

But he wasn't counting on losing the court case, or still being married to Jamie. All he wanted was to move on with his life and concentrate on Barnes Wentworth. But Bobby's ultimate death provided Cliff with another way to get his hands on Ewing Oil, and avenge his father's name. Bobby left all of his shares in the company to his nephew Christopher, and gave guardianship of those shares to Pamela, 30 of Ewing Oil. Cliff saw dollar signs in his future as he thought about how best to use the shares. He considered selling to a competitor, Jeremy Wendell, in the hopes of rubbing defeat in J.R.'s face.

But Jamie heard about Cliff's plan, and in her anger, she left Cliff to stay with her brother Jack, who currently controlled 5 of Ewing Oil. It was during this time that Cliff realized his mistake with Jamie, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make it right with her again. He promised to involve her in his work at Gold Canyon 340. But it was her involvement with work that landed her in the hospital, after she was toppled by a pile of oil drums.

Cliff was once again faced with the prospect of losing his wife, and he stayed with her at the hospital until she had the blood transfusion she needed, and was able to go home.

After that incident, Cliff was very careful with Jamie. He told himself that he was going to do right by her, and not disappoint her ever again. He even called off the Barnes-Ewing feud at her request, realizing that there was no longer any point in fighting past demons. Pam had sold Christopher's share of Ewing Oil to J.R., and cut professional ties with Ewing Oil.

_Things were going so well, _Cliff swore angrily as slowly got out of the bed. _Everything was going to work out. _Cliff rubbed his eyes as he recalled the ending of his conversation with Pam. _Explosion at Ewing Oil._ Cliff clenched his fists in anger; once again, J.R. Ewing had taken something near and dear to him. He frowned when he remembered who was in the building the day of the bombing. _Sue Ellen: another innocent victim by J.R.'s dirty business._

Cliff examined the clock on the nightstand. He needed to get out of Mexico and back to Texas. There were affairs that needed to be dealt with. Cliff stole another glance at a half-gone mini bar. _One more drink won't kill me though_, he relented as he reached for another tiny bottle of vodka.

* * *

"Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere," Donna finished as she completed her rendition of _Goodnight Moon. _She had signed the words for Tony and Christopher, neither of whom could sleep on the chilly fall night.

"Could you read us another Aunt Donna?" Christopher asked, knowing what the answer would be, but wanting to try his luck anyway.

"No," Donna laughed as she signed her answer, taking Christopher by the hand as she led him back to her room, kissing Tony goodnight before she left. "Your mamma wanted you in bed half-an-hour ago."

"But she's too busy trying to get to Uncle Cliff to notice me being awake," Christopher pointed out as Donna tucked him under the covers.

"Your mamma sees everything, Christopher."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh," Donna smiled as she turned on the night light. "You're going to be going home with your mamma tomorrow, so you'd better get a good night sleep."

Donna carefully shut the door and went to the Southfork back porch, running her fingers through her hair. It had been another long day for everyone, but a great deal had been accomplished. Donna had been able to use her political power to get Cliff a fast flight back to Dallas. Ellie and Clayton made the finishing accommodations for Sue Ellen's homecoming, converting one of the guest rooms on the first floor to be her new bedroom. Ray – Donna hadn't heard from him all day. He had called late last night, telling her that he was staying with Jack, not wanting to leave him alone while he was dealing with Jamie's death. Donna didn't mind Ray looking after Jack, Donna had been looking after Pam since the incident, but Ray hadn't been coming home, and it was starting to bother her.

"Ray Krebs, I hope you haven't forgotten the fact that we have a family of our own. You me and Tony. I know you, cowboy, you always want to do the right thing, but you need to include your son and wife in that." Donna didn't like feeling jealous or neglected by Ray, she knew that wasn't his intention. But Tony was living in a new environment, and he needed Ray to make him more comfortable. _The explosion has affected Tony just like anyone else, and he __keeps asking for his 'new dad' and I don't know what to tell him anymore._ Donna looked up at the southern sky, wondering if Ray could see the same stars that she could, whether she was on his mind or not.

* * *

"Jack, it wasn't your fault," Ray insisted as he poured Jack another cup of sobering black coffee. He had finally convinced Jack to put down the bottle, at least for the moment, but now he was stoic and silent, and Ray couldn't tell which Jack was worse.

"You don't get it, I was her brother. I should have been there for her."

Ray slammed his fist on the counter. "Jack, you are not the only person in the world to feel guilty over an accident. When my younger cousin Mickey Trotter got in a car accident with Sue Ellen, I felt guilty for months, as if it was my fault that he got into the car that night, or that Sue Ellen had been drinking, or that the man barreling down the road wanted J.R. killed." Jack said nothing as he watched Ray rant. "My point is, everyone feels a degree of responsibility over tragedies and accidents, but you can't let it run your life."

Jack cleared his throat. "Jamie and I, we got the short end of the stick our entire lives. We lived with dad who could never provide for us, always drifting from place to place, never staying long enough to make a home for Jamie and I. She deserved better than what she got in this life."

"I'm sure she did, she was a very special person, and she meant a lot to the family, and to Cliff."

"Cliff?" Jack scoffed. "Cliff married her to get control of Ewing Oil. She was nothing more than a pawn for him. He used her for his own gains."

"That's not true," Ray cut in. "Maybe it started that way, but I know that Cliff loved Jamie very much. He nearly died when she got into that accident at the Gulf."

"And who caused the accident?"

Ray said nothing, knowing that there was no way that he was going to get through to Jack tonight.

"Jamie would have been better off if she had stayed with me, rather than seek out you – you Ewings! You destroyed her!"

"No one made Jamie find us, she did that on her own," Ray said sharply. "No one made you come after her, trying to swindle part of Ewing Oil away from the family."

"We were family, Jamie and I were Ewings, cheated our entire lives."

"Come off it," Ray shot back, his patience beginning to wear thin. "You saw how Sue Ellen and Pam treated Jamie, like she was a sister."

"And I saw J.R. treat her like dirt."

Ray let out a deep breath, "That was a long time ago. J.R. made peace with Jamie, and with Cliff. Don't you see, all Jamie ever wanted was for everyone to get along – and she got her wish. She ended the Barnes-Ewing feud. Do you know how special that is?"

Jack looked down at the ground. He knew that Ray was right. Jamie had been very well loved and accepted by most of the Ewings. Even he was embraced by the illustrious family. "That doesn't change the fact that she's gone."

Ray rested his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Nothing will change the fact that she's gone."

"Don't you ever get tired of being right?" Jack scoffed.

"You should come to Southfork and be with the family. We need each other right now."

"I don't know if I can do that yet, Ray."

"I understand. But I want you to know, that there will always be a place for you at the Ewing table," Ray promised. "Clayton and I, we're going to miss having you around."

"I don't know where I'm going yet. There's so much that I have to figure out."

"Just remember that you're not alone."

Jack shook Ray's hand in thanks. "Speaking of alone, where's Donna and Tony?"

* * *

Pamela Barnes Ewing carefully drove the darkened Dallas streets as she kept her eyes on the road, driving past well-lit houses and nighttime walkers. He had been on her mind all evening, and she had to face him again, avoiding him was no longer an option.

Pam got out of her car and eyed the sign above her: Graison Research Center. Mark's pride and joy, the project that he spent an entire year working on, funding, watching it grow.

_It started out as a simple idea, a way for him to battle the evils that were plaguing him. He brought so much help to others through his simple plan. He helped people stricken with blood disease, he gave Sue Ellen her first career, he helped Jerry Kenderson overcome his shyness, and he gave me something to believe in after Bobby died._

Pam rested her hand on the knobby door handle, startled to see that a light was still shinning from within the premises. "Hello?" Pam called out to no one in particular. "Is someone here?"

"Pam." Dr. Jerry Kenderson, Mark's doctor and close friend greeted her warmly. "I thought I was the only one here."

"Well, I couldn't sleep tonight, so I came here to see…"

"Mark."

"Yes," Pam nodded, grateful that someone understood her pain. "I thought he was healthy, that he was right on track."

"You know that heart attacks are common among men his age, Pam. There is nothing that you could have done for Mark, he didn't even know he was in trouble."

Pam touched the walls of the building. "You know he poured his heart and soul into this place."

"He always wanted to find out more about medicine. Leukemia was in his family, you know."

"Yes I do." Pam closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I need to find out what he would want."

"Mark?"

"What do I do with the research center?"

"He left the center to me," Jerry said softly.

"That's wonderful," Pam said with a small smile. "I'm sure you'll be able to continue the research in Mark's memory."

"I don't know if I'm keeping the center going."

"What?" Pam asked startled. "You've worked so hard over the past year, making speeches, finding new data, helping other people. Jerry – I think he would have wanted you to keep the center alive."

"It's this place," Jerry said as he eyed the portrait of Mark that graced the hallway. "This was his place, the memory of him."

"I understand. And you know that I'll accept whatever you do, but I don't think Mark would have wanted you to give up on the center right away. There was too much good that came from this place.

"How would I keep it going?" Jerry asked as he walked with Pam to the parking lot. "It takes money to run a foundation like this; I can't just rely on donations, I would need a strong financial backer."

"What about me," Pam insisted. "I could fund all of the work that goes with the center. We could be partners."

"That's a very significant commitment, Pam."

"I know, but I need it. I need Graison Research Center. It's my last tie to Mark, I can't lose it."

Jerry nodded sympathetically. "I don't want to give up right away either. We can have a trial run for a few months, see what will happen."

"Really?" Pam smiled.

"You're very persistent, Pam. Mark always said that that was one of the things that he loved about you."

Pam took in a sharp breath. "Mark was very special to me. He was there for me at a time in my life when I needed someone. He kept me going last year."

"He meant a lot to a great many people. That's why I need him to be remembered. I'll do whatever I can to see that his legacy lives on. With Cliff running Barnes-Wentworth, I need to find a career of my own."

"So I'll see you next week."

"Of course." Pam turned back to her car. "Wait!" Jerry called.

"Yes?"

"How's Sue Ellen?"

Pam looked down at the ground. Jerry had had a very obvious crush on Mrs. Sue Ellen Ewing, something didn't go unnoticed by Pam or Mark. "Do you have a minute?" she asked, knowing that it was going to be a long story.

Jerry nodded as he gestured towards a bench outside the building. "All I know is what the reports are telling me, and that isn't very much."

Pam smirked to herself, "The Ewings are very good at keeping their private life's private.""Don't I know it," Jerry muttered. "But how is she?"

"The doctors say that she is suffering from bilateral vitreous hemorrhages."

"Blindness," Jerry gasped.

"The doctors are insisting that it's only temporary, but they don't know when the eyesight will return."

"When is she coming home from the hospital."

"Next week."

"Will you keep me posted on her? I know that she won't be returning to Graison Research any time soon, but I'd like to know how she's doing."

Pam softened, seeing that Jerry still carried a torch for Mrs. J.R. Ewing. "I promise to keep you posted on her."

Jerry smiled as he watched Pam drive away. There wasn't a day in his life that he didn't think about Sue Ellen Ewing. He hated the fact that she went back to her husband – a man who didn't deserve her, who had had dozens of chances with her, only to let her down again and again. This time may have been his last.

"If I could just have one more chance with her, one more opportunity, I wouldn't let it go to waste."

* * *

Clayton Farlow got out of bed and traveled into the kitchen. It was another night of no sleep. He hadn't had a good nights sleep since he heard about Sue Ellen's accident. _Of all the people in the world, why Sue Ellen?_ Clayton rested his hand on the silver, metal faucet, letting the water flow into the mug. _She didn't do anything wrong; she was innocent. _Clayton slapped the faucet down with a smack, allowing the noise to echo through the house. _She was happy, she was sober – she had everything she ever wanted and more._ _And now...now her life has been taken from her_

He smiled remembering the first time he met Sue Ellen Ewing. He had heard wonderful stories about her from his son, Steven 'Dusty' Farlow. There was a point when Clayton believed that the two would marry. But Dusty's plan accident left him in a wheelchair, and he withdrew from the rest of the world, including the rodeo circuit, which he loved very much. Dusty never stopped thinking about Sue Ellen, or telling his father how special she was. He made a point of keeping track of her, hiring a private detective to follow her. When Sue Ellen discovered the spy, she came back to him immediately, vowing to leave J.R. for him – which she did.

Sue Ellen and John Ross moved to the Southern Cross Ranch in San Angelo, Texas, and Clayton got the opportunity to get to know Sue Ellen first hand. He had been reluctant and wary of the former Mrs. Ewing, often wondering if her coming back was the best thing for Dusty. But it was. Dusty was able to walk again, and he returned to his passion of riding horses. It was the rodeo that drove Sue Ellen and John Ross away – Dusty had to make a decision about which passion to keep and he chose the rodeo, sending the love of his life back to Dallas with her son.

It hurt Clayton very much to see Sue Ellen and John Ross leave. He had grown close to during the stay at Southern Cross. Sue Ellen was the daughter that he never had but always wanted. The two formed a strong friendship that withstood dozens of obstacles over the years, namely her husband J.R. He still couldn't understand how Sue Ellen continued to stay with him over the years. He had listened to her defend her husband's actions both in business and in personal. It was the personal that bothered Clayton the most. When J.R. cheated on Sue Ellen – she feel to pieces, often turning to the bottle for solace.

It had taken her years of drinking and heartbreak to finally get her to commit to staying sober. Sue Ellen joined Alcoholics Anonymous and attended religiously, relying on her own personal strength to come out whole again.

_J.R.'s done it to her again, he's hurt her. _Clayton dropped his glass in the sink. He didn't believe that J.R. was capable of seeing Sue Ellen through her blindness. _I've got no reason to believe in him, after everything that he's done he still gets more chances._ Clayton was still stinging from Ellie's comment at the hospital. _She has so much faith in her son._ Clayton recognized the fact that it was the duty of the mother to support their children no matter what, but how far was that theory supposed to go?

He hated the fact that he still wasn't considered a full member of the family. It wasn't just J.R. attitude that bothered him, Clayton could handle J.R.'s feelings for him, but it was Ellie that he was concerned about. She still made family decisions without him, whether it was in the up keep of Southfork, or deciding how to decorate the home The portrait of Jock – Ellie's first husband, hung in the living room during the beginning of their marriage, providing a constant reminder to Clayton that this was not his house at all, he was only a guest. With the aid of Ray's wife Donna, Clayton was able to have the painting moved to Ewing Oil, allowing him, and the entire family, to carve a new history and keep Southfork going.

Another decision that irked Clayton was the hiring of Ben Stivers. Stivers was a character that still bothered Clayton, but he couldn't put his finger quite on what is was. _Maybe it's the fact that he'll be taking on some of Ray's responsibilities. _Ray Krebbs had promised to stay on as head foreman on the ranch, but with a home of his own and a new family, Clayton understood Ray's need to draw back on his responsibilities. The role of head foreman was becoming more a title as Ray spent less and less time tending to Southfork. And there was still the new business that they were going to run together – raising cattle. That was going to take more time from both of them, which Clayton had originally been looking forward to. After selling off his refineries and getting out of the oil business all together, Clayton was in need of a new hobby. Ellie left him with very little to do around the ranch.

_I still need to find a place in this family_, Clayton muttered. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, jumping into an already formed family never was, but he hadn't counted on this much resistance. Lucy had spent very little time with him while she was staying at Southfork, keeping her own life private. Bobby and J.R. also had lives of their own – Ewing Oil. Clayton came into the family during a difficult time for the fledging family company, the ownership was being contested by Cliff Barnes. The Ewing brothers were so wrapped up in the fight that they ignored their own mother, stopping at nothing to protect their daddy's legacy. Shortly after the Ewing win, Bobby was run over by a car and was taken from the family. Clayton mourned a son-in-law that he regretfully didn't know better. The only members who had accepted him into the family had been Ellie and Ray, and nice as that was, Clayton still yearned for something more. And it was on a night like tonight, when the Ewing family was in peril, that Clayton's urge to find a place in the group was stronger than ever.


	3. Chapter 3: Coming Home

Jenna Wade gripped her suitcase in one hand and her daughter's hand in another as she marched down the terminal at the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport. A weeklong vacation to New York was exactly what the mother-daughter team needed to get ready for the new fall year. Charlie was starting her freshman year of high school, and Jenna was preparing for a full year at her boutique, which had been sorely neglected the previous year.

Last year Jenna had been forced to battle several personal demons. She was still reeling from the murder of ex-lover Naldo Marchetta, Charlie's father. Naldo's return to Dallas caused a sea of problems for her to deal with. He kidnapped Charlie, forcing Jenna to once again stand Bobby up at the altar. The two were going to be married once and for all, something that Jenna knew should have happened a decade ago, but didn't. _I was too wild, I wanted too much, I couldn't just be with Bobby, not yet._ Jenna was taken captive by Nadlo, kept from her daughter and fiancé. She lost all hope of escape, fighting him to break free, until they both passed out. When she awoke, there were police surrounding the room, and she was being accused of murder.

It took months for Jenna's name to be cleared and to be reunited with her daughter and lover, but problems still remained. Bobby had grown close to his ex-wife Pamela Ewing while Jenna was in prison. She could see the evidence across his face, when he mentioned her name, when he spent time with Christopher. Bobby had lost interest in the wedding, and it became more of an obligation to Jenna and Charlie than something he wanted for himself.

Jenna found the final evidence on the day of Lucy's remarriage to Mitch. Lucy told her uncle not to get married without her, and he halfheartedly promised he wouldn't. Jenna saw the sorrow in his eyes, the pain that he was willing to go through to keep her happy. Bobby was too good of a man to jilt her after coming out of prison. And Jenna loved him too much to force him into a wedding that he didn't want. She called the event off that day, telling Bobby that they both moved on. He didn't deny her claim; he nodded in agreement and left.

But what Jenna didn't know – what stung the worst for her – was that Bobby wasn't just in love with Pam. The feeling was mutual and he had proposed to her again.

_Her. Pamela Jean Barnes Ewing. The woman that has followed me for the past few years. She never let Bobby rest while they were divorced; I wonder why she let him go in the first place if she wanted him so badly?_ Pam had always been a factor in her relationship with Bobby, she was after all Christopher's mother, and there was no escaping that. Jenna was willing to accept Pam's role in Bobby's life if that was what it took to keep Bobby, but Pam wasn't content to let Bobby be, and he wasn't content to let her go.

_Those two still found a way of finding one another; after all of the scheming to separate them from both sides of the family, none of it could keep them apart._

Jenna kept her eyes in front of her, watching the gold lights flicker on the marquee. She couldn't deal with all of her past. Not today.

"Mamma, what time did Donna say she was picking us up?" Charlie asked with a small smile. The Wade women were headed back to Southfork, back to reality. When Jenna heard about the explosion at Ewing Oil and what happened to Sue Ellen, she wanted to leave New York and return to the ranch. But Donna had insisted that she stay with Charlie and enjoy their few days together and to come home when they were ready.

Before leaving for New York, Jenna and Charlie considered getting a place of their own, away from the Ewing family. Jenna had felt that it was time to move on from Southfork, she would never be a member by birth or marriage, and there was no point to her staying there with Charlie. But the accident changed her point of view.

Jenna had had a hard year last year, dealing with Bobby's death, the reality that she still loved him. She fooled herself into believing that she was indeed the love of his life, that they would have been married and lived happily ever after, if Katherine Wentworth hadn't run him over with her car. Jenna entered a state of depression and denial based on her alternate reality. It was easier to live in the dream than to cope with life as it was.

Sue Ellen and Donna never left her side that year. Donna, who was battling losing her down syndrome child, put Jenna's needs before her own, urging her to seek counseling and helping to run the boutique when Jenna ignored her duties. Sue Ellen was a steady comfort for her during that year, always willing to lend an ear, and support her in her quest for help.

Jenna knew that she and Charlie wouldn't have made it through the year without their help. They encouraged Jenna to get her act together and starting going to a therapist several times a week. Talking about her relationship with Bobby – starting from the point where they were kids and next-door neighbors – helped her see the errors in her fantasy, and allowed her to move on with her life.

All Jenna could think about was being there for the Ewing family, especially Sue Ellen, who was going to need all of the support she could get. There was also Jack to think about. She was very saddened to hear of Jamie Ewing's death, a person that she never got to know very well, but from the way Jack talked about her, she was amazing.

Jack Ewing was yet another question mark for Jenna. She met him at a very difficult time. Just as Bobby died, Jack came into the picture moving into Southfork, spending dinners with the family – taking Bobby's place. He seemed like a genuinely nice man in search of family, and Charlie took to him right away, but Jenna held back, not knowing what to think of the stranger.

Eventually it became very apparent what he thought of her – he liked what he saw. The two started to spend time together – horseback riding walking, talking; Jenna slowly began to feel at ease with the Ewing stranger…until he asked her to the Oil Baron's ball. Something within her snapped, Jenna was confronted with images of Bobby, images that wouldn't go away.

And so began her depression, her isolation from the world around her. Even Charlie was hit by her mother's behavior. But like Sue Ellen and Donna, Jack stayed with her, never giving up on her once. He didn't push her into a relationship, but stayed back, watching her from afar. Jack was patient and he saw Jenna and Charlie through their difficult period. It was hard for him to forget her.

_And then there was Pam and Mark's wedding, _Jenna smiled. _That day held so much promise._ She remembered Jack asking her to be his date, which she readily agreed to. _I was counting on the wedding being a new start for both of us. We could have been really good together. We were both in a place in our lives when we were looking for a relationship, and why look elsewhere when the ideal candidate is right in front of you?_

He stayed in her thoughts while she was in New York, attending meetings with buyers, and sightseeing with Charlie. Jenna had thought about what he was doing in Dallas, the way they danced together at the wedding. _We were so comfortable together; one would think that we were a romantic couple rather than two friends._ Charlie thought the world of Jack, which was another plus for Jenna. _She spent a good year rooting for us to get together. She doesn't know how close she was to getting her wish._

The car bombing changed things. The explosion at Ewing Oil changed things. Life was no longer simple and uncomplicated. Jenna had wondered how Jack was doing, had wanted to call him when she heard the news from Donna. But she declined, partly from fear. She also wanted to talk to him in person first, see him, be there for him. _Some things are better spoken face to face_, Jenna said softly.

The Wade women quickened their pace as they hunted for Donna and Ray who were picking them up from the airport. Jenna's mind was swirling with thoughts and concerns, what to do first when she got to Southfork. But she remembered that she needed to be calm, it was going to be her job to see that things ran smoothly, Jenna couldn't be afforded the luxury of panicking.

"I think I see Donna," Charlie shouted, waving her hands. "What is she doing alone?"

"Let's see," Jenna said, waving hello to her friend. "Donna!"

"Hi," Donna said breathlessly, pulling Jenna and Charlie into a hug. "How was your flight?"

"Fine, very little turbulence. How are you doing?"

Donna let out a chuckle. "I'm hanging in there, there's so much to be done at Southfork, preparing for Sue Ellen to come home tonight."

"The doctors think she's ready?"

"They are confident that with weekly therapy treatments at a good rehabilitation clinic, she will be able to cope just fine with her disability. You should see the ranch; there've been some alterations to it, to make it more friendly for Sue Ellen."

"Well we can't wait to see it. Staying at hotels have been nice, but there is no place like home.

"Aint it the truth."

"Where's Ray?" Charlie asked curiously.

Donna frowned at the mention of her husband, recalling his absence that morning, and a curt phone call in its place. "He couldn't make it now, he's with Jack." Donna closed her eyes. Her husband had been spending more and more of his time with Jack, helping him cope with Jamie's death. Donna understood his reasons, and she wouldn't dream of cheating Jack of a friend, but Ray had responsibilities to her, Tony, and the other Ewings that he was forgetting. Donna eyed Charlie's disappointment at Ray's absence. "But he will be at Southfork tonight, with Jack."

Charlie couldn't help but smile at the idea of seeing Jack Ewing once again. _Just wait until he sees mamma, she can make him feel better._

Jenna couldn't contain her smile at hearing about Jack either. "How is he holding up?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid," Donna reported. "Jamie was the only family he had left, and now she's gone."

"He still has the Ewings."

"Yes, but it isn't really the same." Donna led Jenna and Charlie to the car. "But I am confident that he will recover from Jamie's death."

"I hope so," Jenna said softly as she walked out of the airport. "I really hope so."

*****

J.R. stepped into the hallway of Dallas Memorial Hospital as Dr. Aaron Armstrong gave him final words before releasing patient Sue Ellen Ewing. She had been under hospital care for over a week as surgeons tended to her physical scars, repairing all of the damage, making her good as new. Sadly, little could be done for the emotional damage, what knives and surgery couldn't mend.

Dr. Armstrong was confident in the fact that Sue Ellen could return to Southfork. It was to his understanding that she was leaving for a supportive family, which was the best scenario for any patient.

"Sue Ellen's made a wonderful recovery overall," Dr. Armstrong assured J.R. "With proper therapy, Sue Ellen will be able to work with her blindness, and return to a fairly normal routine."

J.R. nodded as he watched his wife in her hospital room, talking with his mother and Clayton. "I'm just so happy that she's alive," J.R. said thankfully. "You don't know what the family has been through this past week."

"You should consider yourself thankful, Mr. Ewing; it was a miracle that Sue Ellen came out of the explosion alive."

"You don't have to tell me that," J.R. said, his eyes never leaving her. Over the course of the week J.R. had been at her bedside every day, staying as long as visitors were permitted. He didn't spend time at Southfork – except to see John Ross and give him an update on his mother's condition – and he hadn't bothered trying to salvage what he could of the Ewing Building, about a third of which was permanently damaged by the explosion and fire. Business hadn't occurred to him since he saw Sue Ellen in the white stretcher, being carted off to the hospital. _To think it took an event like this to finally get me away from the office, _J.R. had bitterly told himself over the week, disgusted by the fact that he had put work over Sue Ellen and John Ross, that his choosing to go into Ewing Building that Sunday morning and continue to do business with Angelica Nero nearly cost him the life of his wife, who he was finally starting to do right by. J.R. looked through the thin clear glass, admiring her from afar.

Sue Ellen sat on the edge of the hospital bed as Miss Ellie gathered the rest of her belongings. "The house is all ready for you Sue Ellen."

"Thank-you, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen said quietly, still dazed from her hospital stay. "I'm sure it's lovely." Sue Ellen nodded her head, trying to block the tears forming in her eyes. Today was going to be the first day of a whole new world for her, with no opportunities to turn back. Sue Ellen had always lived in a world of uncertainty, having only her sister and mother for family, moving into a world where she often still found herself a foreigner – a peasant among the wealthy. Yet somehow, she found a way to cope through the unfamiliar, relying on her good looks and charm to blend in with the Dallas socialites and essentially become one of them. She found the strength within to fight for her marriage and place in the Ewing home, declaring that she was there to stay and that she was just as good as any one of them. But now, now she was entering unchartered territory, and once again, she didn't know what her future held.

Dr. Armstrong continued his private conversation with J.R. from within the halls. "You know that you're relationship won't be the same."

"I understand doctor. I'll do whatever I have to; make whatever adjustments necessary to make Sue Ellen happy."

"I certainly hope you'll keep your word, Mr. Ewing. Your wife is in a very fragile state, and she needs care."

"Doctor Armstrong," J.R. began curtly, "With all due respect, I can take care of my wife just fine."

Dr. Armstrong gave Mr. Ewing a half smile. "I suppose I've become a cynic after all of these years. I've seen so many couples torn apart after tragedies just like this. Sue Ellen is very special."

"The most special person in the world," J.R. vowed.

"I don't want you to rush into anything with her. She needs to take things slowly, find her bearings. Physically, Sue Ellen is shaken, and she may not be able to… participate in her usual activities with you."

J.R. smiled at the doctor. "Some things are worth waiting for, and Sue Ellen is most definitely one of them."

Dr. Armstrong shook J.R.'s hand as he led him back to Sue Ellen's room. "You've already found a rehabilitation clinic for her to attend to. It's important for her to be around others that have a visual disability like herself. They can offer her advice, friendship, support."

J.R. nodded as he opened the door. "She's got an entire family behind her." He presented his mother with a smile, his way of letting her know that the situation was under control.

"Any final questions, Sue Ellen?" Dr. Armstrong asked gently.

"No," Sue Ellen said quietly. J.R. gently took her hand, giving her a loving squeeze. Sue Ellen responded with a gentle touch of her own. "I'm ready to go."

Clayton carried Sue Ellen's overnight bag, and was followed by Ellie. J.R. and Sue Ellen remained for a moment.

"Thank-you, Dr. Armstrong," Sue Ellen said. "You did a wonderful job."

"You were a wonderful patient," Dr. Armstrong replied. "You call me if you need anything at all."

Sue Ellen and J.R. nodded as they walked out of the hospital.

"Everything will be okay, Sue Ellen," J.R. promised.

"I'm sure it will," Sue Ellen said to herself, more for her benefit than for his.

J.R. slowly led Sue Ellen out of the hospital and into the outdoors, Sue Ellen's first visit since the accident. "Sue Ellen," he said quietly, loud enough for only her to hear, "I…I…"

"I know," Sue Ellen finished. "I love you too." What Sue Ellen didn't know, what she couldn't know, was how much her husband truly cared for her and the capacity of guilt he felt from her predicament.

*****

Southfork was abuzz with activity as several family members worked to do their part for the evening's festivities. Tonight was going to be the first family dinner in a very long time, and nothing could go wrong.

Donna took to overseeing everything, monitoring Raul and Teresa's progress in the kitchen. Charlie kept John Ross, Christopher, and Tony occupied in the den, playing board games. Jenna checked out all of the bedrooms ensuring that everything was in order.

"What time are Ray and Jack getting here?" Jenna questioned coming down the stairs.

"Ray said they'd be here in time for dinner. I just hope he means it." Donna took a seat on the sofa, and Jenna joined her.

"Why wouldn't he mean it? Ray knows how important tonight is."

"Yes, but lately…." Donna was hesitate to bring her troubles to Jenna, who had more than enough to deal with. She also wondered if she was jumping the gun with worrying over Ray's lack of presence at home.

Jenna took Donna's hand in hers. "You know that you can tell me anything. After everything we've been through together last year, we should be able to share."

Donna gave Jenna a half smile. "Tony has been asking me why Ray hasn't been spending time with us over at the house, and I still don't know what to tell him."

Jenna nodded her head. "How's Tony dealing with a new home?"

"Very well, he's still attending Wood Grove as usual; he loves the new house, and his room. He gets along just fine with John Ross and Christopher. But Ray hasn't been there very much in these past few weeks. Not since Jamie's accident."

"Things will change when Jack heals."

"Will they?" Donna said quietly.

Jenna didn't have a chance to answer as the front door opened, bearing Jack and Ray. Ray's eyes were weary as he came towards Donna giving her a hug. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Donna said, straightening his shirt. "You're the one that I'm worried about. What happened to going with me to the airport today?"

"I'll tell you tonight," Ray promised, kissing Donna's cheeks. "Where's Tony?"

"He's with the boys. He was asking about you today."

Ray said nothing as he followed Donna into the den.

Jack looked up at Jenna sitting on the chair. He hadn't seen her since the wedding. _New York has been very good to her_, Jack said quietly, unsure of whether or not to approach her. He had heard that she and Charlie were staying at Southfork, and he wondered if it was a sign that she was interested in him.

She had always been breathtaking to him. The first time they met was at the Ewing celebration party at Oil Baron's. Jack had just helped the Ewing brothers beat Cliff Barnes out of his claim for Ewing Oil. He knew that Barnes had no right to the company – his daddy had foolishly signed away both his rights in a drunken stupor. _Not that my daddy was much better _Jack thought to himself.

_'A greedy moron and hopeless drunk' _where the words that Wallace Wyndham used to describe Jason Ewing and Willard Digger Barnes. _Wonder which is worse,_ Jack thought to himself, _the greedy moron or the hopeless drunk._ The Great Depression was hard times for everyone, and Jason Ewing assumed that the company would be worthless at the time, so he made a quick profit, as did Digger. _But in Digger's case, it was dried up in two days with the booze._ Jock Ewing bought back the shares from his so called partners, saving every penny he had in the process, and became the sole owner of Ewing Oil.

_Jamie was crushed_, Jack remembered, _she really thought I betrayed her by going to the wealthy Ewings. She would have won if I hadn't shown up._ _Not that Jamie would have seen a penny, she was married to that Barnes idiot at the time, he would have gotten her third and his own, the greedy louse. _Jack knew he hated Cliff Barnes: for being careless in business, for his pride, for his unwillingness to deal with the truths of the past, for his cheap style of living, and for the way he treated Jamie._ You deserved better than a halfwit like him Jamie, you were cheated your entire life. At least I got us ten percent of Ewing Oil, ten percent that no one could ever take away._

"Jack," Jenna said gently, stealing him away from his thoughts. "Hello."

"Hello," was all he could muster in return. _She's very lovely._ "How was New York?"

"Wonderful," she said with a warm smile, gently pulling him into a hug. "I'm so sorry about Jamie."

Jack nodded, coughing back his tears. "That's very nice of you. You didn't even know her."

"But I know what it's like to lose someone you love." Jenna looked into Jack's eyes, seeing a sorrow that she knew all too well. "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"I would," Jack said, smiling for the first time that week. "Water if you don't mind."

Donna and Ray were finally able to share a private moment in the den. "So, how's Jack?" Donna asked, more out of obligation than genuine concern.

"He's doing well, really well," Ray said with confidence, not picking up on Donna's agitation. "He's stopped drinking all day, he's left the apartment."

"What are his plans regarding Dallas?"

"Still unsure. I'm trying to convince him to stay here, at least for a few months."

"Why?" Donna asked curtly.

Ray gave his wife a curious stare. "Jack may be improving, but that doesn't mean he's ready to leave his family."

"Family?" Donna countered. "He was Jock Ewing's nephew, your cousin, whom you barely know, waltzes into Dallas a year and a half ago, spends most of his time plotting with J.R. over Ewing Oil and you want to call him family."

"Jack is done with Ewing Oil, he said so himself," Ray said calmly. "He's going to try and sell his shares back to J.R."

Donna frowned at her husband in frustration. She knew she was right and that Jack was family, but that didn't make his being there any easier.

Ray gently massaged her shoulders. "There's a side to Jack that you don't know, a side that loves the land, loves adventure. He's been a friend to me and Clayton; I can't give up on him yet, not until I know that he'll be alright."

"I understand," Donna said softly. Ray pulled Donna in for a kiss, but they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

"Saved by the bell," Ray laughed as he and Donna went to greet the visitor.

"I hope it's not Miss Ellie and the others," Donna said. "We're not quite ready."

Donna opened the door to reveal Pamela Barnes Ewing. "You came," Donna said, pulling her friend in a hug.

"I wasn't sure if I could make it," Pam said with a smile. "I hate leaving Cliff alone right now."

"How is Cliff?" Ray asked, more out of obligation than concern. Ray couldn't forget the fact that Cliff had dated Donna, and threatened Ewing Oil on multiple occasions.

"Not very good, I'm afraid. He was up all day, ranting and raving; I was finally able to get him to sleep."

"Sue Ellen will be glad to see you," Donna said.

"I know," Pam said with an easy smile.

"Mommy," Christopher cried, running into his mother's arms.

"Christopher," Pam breathed, lifting her son into the air. "Were you good for Aunt Donna today?"

"He was fine," Donna assured her.

"Mommy when are Grandma and Grandpa coming?" Christopher asked impatiently.

"Soon, Christopher," Pam laughed, "Very soon. They're bringing your Aunt Sue Ellen back from the hospital today."

John Ross came into the living room with Charlie and Tony, followed by Jenna, who was more than surprised to see Pam.

"Pam," Jenna said, startled, "Are you here for Christopher?"

"And Sue Ellen," Pam said eying Jenna Wade. "Miss Ellie invited me to stay for dinner." Pam detected a distinct coldness from Jenna, but she wasn't about it to let it spoil the evening for her or anyone else. "How was New York?" she asked as Ray took her coat.

"It was very profitable; I found new styles for the boutique." Jenna held Charlie close to hers, trying to keep her cool around the formidable Mrs. Ewing. _I have every right to be here because I live here, she can't take that from me, _Jenna told herself firmly as she watched the poised Pamela make her way through the house.

Jack came up from behind Jenna and greeted Pam with a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Relieved," Pam nodded, squeezing Jack's hand. "I was able to settle Mark's affairs, and now I can really start to move on."

"Are you really keeping Graison Research open?" Donna asked.

Pam nodded her head. "Dr. Kenderson and I are keeping the building going in Mark's name, as a memorial to him. He would have wanted it that way." Pam closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from coming forth.

"Can I get you a drink before dinner?" Ray chivalrously offered, heading over to the bar.

Charlie turned to her mother, "I'll take John Ross, Christopher, and Tony upstairs," she offered as she led the boys to John Ross' bedroom, leaving the adults alone.

"When are you reopening the boutique, Jenna?" Donna asked, taking a seat on a sofa cushion.

"With any luck, by next week. The vacation was wonderful, but I miss my work."

Everyone laughed politely at Jenna's comment, no one knowing what to say to anyone else. Donna kept shifting her eyes between Jenna and Pam, who were trying not to look at each other. Donna hoped that there wouldn't be any drama between the two of them tonight, that the dinner could be about the family recovering from the explosion.

Voices from the front door startled the group as they all stood to greet the Ewing family. Miss Ellie and Clayton came first, both weary from a long day.

"How is Sue Ellen, Miss Ellie?" Donna asked gently.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Clayton smiled. "She and J.R. are right behind us."

J.R. gently led Sue Ellen into the ranch house as he placed a brave smile for the family. "We're here," he said.

"Mamma!" John Ross cried running into the living room with the other children behind him. Ray grabbed John Ross in his arms before he attacked his mother with a hug. "Take it easy partner," Ray advised.

Sue Ellen opened her arms for her son, who slowly came towards her, allowing himself to be pulled in a strong hug."I've missed you," she whispered softly. It was her wish that John Ross not visit her during the hospital stay. She had spent the majority of her time in the Intensive Care Unit, where doctors and specialists evaluated her status. It was a blessing that Sue Ellen was left with minor burns, downgraded from in severity from when she first arrived. Dr. Armstrong had promised her full recovery in that respect, and, the surgeons had done their very best to prevent permanent damage. Sue Ellen didn't want her son visiting her in the hospital, not when she was in such serious condition. _It's not natural, _she told J.R. when he breeched the subject of John Ross. Not wanting to aggravate his wife, J.R. agreed, knowing that it wasn't his decision to make. He was not the one lying in a hospital bed, temporarily blind.

"Sue Ellen," Pam said gently, the next person to hug her.

"Pam," Sue Ellen smiled. The two Mrs. Ewings had become very good friends over the years. They shared a common bond of being a Ewing wife, something that time and trials could not destroy. They spent six years living together at Southfork. Granted, the two didn't get along the entire time, it was actually when Pam first left Bobby that the two really became close, but there was no denying the fact that these women were best friends who needed and understood each other better than most people ever would.

Jenna coughed uncomfortably as Pam released Sue Ellen, pulling Christopher to her side. "Welcome home, Sue Ellen," Jenna smiled.

"Thank-you Jenna." Sue Ellen pondered Jenna's phrasing of the word 'home'. At the moment she didn't feel at home at all, she felt like a stranger trapped in a foreign body. But there was truth in what Jenna said, Southfork was her home, it had been for over a decade. What surprised her was that Jenna was able to call Southfork home as well. She was very pleased when Miss Ellie told her that Jenna had not left the ranch yet, and she hoped that her new friend would stay in the future. Sue Ellen had gotten to know Jenna after Bobby and Pam were divorced, and he began courting his high school sweetheart, and his first fiancée. Sue Ellen was surprised that the two were able to pick up their relationship so quickly, everything felt natural and smooth between them, unlike his often volatile marriage to Pam. Sue Ellen had often wondered if Bobby really felt the same way for both women. Sue Ellen knew there were several different kinds of love to feel for someone. She had experienced young love in middle school and high school, all it culminating to her finding her first college boyfriend while at Texas University. Sue Ellen had been very serious about Clint Ogden, who she spent within her first week of school. He had taken a strong interest in her, and she found herself very interested in him as well. Her freshman year was marked by date after date with Clint, the school athlete. He was her first truly serious boyfriend. After dating dozens of men in high school, focusing on one seemed like a healthy move.

Sue Ellen had thought the world of Clint until she competed in the Miss Texas Competition during her junior year of college. She came across the infamous J.R. Ewing, and her world was literally turned upside down. She was forced to question the love that she felt for Clint, and she came to the conclusion that though the feeling was there, it was stronger with J.R. Clint was left at the side lines as J.R. courted Sue Ellen for four years before they finally became man and wife.

_Is it possible to be very much in love with two people, _Sue Ellen had wondered, regarding the Bobby/Pam/Jenna triangle. _Bobby seemed serious about both women. Jenna was his first love and he intended to marry her until she left him at the altar. But Pam was his first wife, and no one can replace that. _She had seen Bobby's devastation over the dissolution of his marriage to Pam, still believing in her heart that the two would find each other again. _I had never seen a love as strong as that. _Pam's relationship with Bobby was perfect in Sue Ellen's eyes, despite their many problems. It was her jealousy of Pam's marriage that prevented her from befriending Pam for the first three years of her stay at Southfork. _Here was this shop girl who had everything I always wanted, but never found. _Sue Ellen hated comparing their marriage to the marriage that she had with J.R., which was a complete opposite. _Husband and wife on paper, but not in the heart, where it mattered. We were two people living separate lives, putting on a show of husband and wife for family and friends, and that wasn't enough for me. But then love wasn't enough for Pam and Bobby – or was it? _Bobby had seemed genuinely happy with Jenna Wade, who blended right in with the Ewing family, the people that were her neighbors so very long ago. Jenna came from a wealthy family, and knew how the other half lived – something that Pam had learned through hands-on experience. _But did Bobby love Jenna in the way he loved Pam? _Loving Jenna may have seemed easier – there were no family politics to worry about – but that didn't mean that he did. Sue Ellen remembered Pam telling her that Bobby had proposed to her the night before he died, that he chose her over Jenna. Sue Ellen believed that if her dear brother-in-law had been alive today, he would be married to a Barnes and not a Wade. _But that's something that I'll never know._

Donna was the next person to greet Sue Ellen, hugging her tightly as she wished her well wishes. Sue Ellen and Donna's relationship had changed over the Ellen resented Donna, who had made a large success for herself with her book deals and political know how. Donna married Ray soon after it was discovered that he was another one of Jock's heirs, a fact that upset Sue Ellen greatly. _Another Ewing to take away Ewing money and power, _Sue Ellen remembered thinking the night of Donna and Ray's wedding party. _She doesn't know what she's getting into. _Sue Ellen found out that she was wrong about Donna and Ray's intentions with the family, but she was right in knowing that Donna was in for a surprise when she married Ray. _No amount of college courses or experience can prepare a woman for the life of a Ewing wife. _Donna, like Sue Ellen, and Pam, had battled her own demons with Ray, many of them rooting from the sense of competition between them. Donna had always been an overachiever, wanting to do as much as she could. She knew she was successful, and she didn't feel like she should have to apologize or stop working to please her husband. _I won't change who I am for him_, Donna vowed. It was that thinking that led them to an almost separation. It was the death of Bobby, and Donna's pregnancy that held them together and gave them the strength to start over as partners and not competitors.

Ray and Jack greeted Sue Ellen warmly as the family was led to the dining room table, filled to capacity with family and friends. Ellie took her position at the head and raised her glass in a toast.

"It's been a long time since the entire family has come together…" Ellie looked at the myriad of family and friends crowded at the table, young and old. "It's when I see all of us together like this that I remember that I am truly blessed, we are all very blessed because we have one another…" Ellie looked down at her husband Clayton, smiling at her with pride. Ellie tried to fight back the tears that formed in her eyes. "No one ever said that life was going to be easy, and it's at moments like these, when we are at our breaking point that we must remember one another, and fight not as one, but as many. We are Ewings, we stick together, and that's what makes us unbeatable…." Pam watched Miss Ellie with sad eyes. She knew that her former mother-in-law had seen more than her fair share of pain. First with Gary's departure, Jock's death, Bobby's death, and now the explosion. But here Miss Ellie was, standing in front of everyone, rallying them together once again. Pam wondered if there was anything that could beat Miss Ellie, and her immediate answer would be no, because Miss Ellie was a survivor, living through decades of trouble and turmoil, only to come out with a smile upon her mouth. "And so, with all of us gathered here, I would like to raise a toast to the Ewing name, and to those Ewings who are no longer with us; Jock….Bobby…. and Jamie." Jack looked up as Miss Ellie mentioned his sister. He felt a touch of pride when he heard her being recognized as a _Ewing,_ a title that she was never able to appreciate. Everyone raised a glass as Miss Ellie sat down and the evening commenced.

Small talk was made by Charlie and John Ross, who were both so happy to be at Southfork with the family. John Ross kept his eye on his mother still not being able to believe that she was really back, that he hadn't lost her. Her blindness was not an issue for him, as far as he was concerned, his mother was here with his father and all was right with the world. Charlie eyed her mother and Jack, who were sitting next to each other. If Charlie had her way, then her mother would get back together with Jack and they could all be one big family together.

Jack shot a curious look at J.R. There were so many unanswered questions about what had happened the day of Pam and Mark's wedding. Jack's first reaction was shock, he had seen his little sister only a few moments before, and then she was blown to smithereens, in a plot that was intended for him. Jack slammed his fork onto his plate; he hated Angelica Nero with an intense passion. It wasn't enough that she had tried to kill him and J.R. in Martinique, but she tried once again. Jack had wanted to be angry with J.R., and for a long time he was, until he saw that J.R. was suffering just as badly as he was. Miss Ellie's words about family had gotten to him, and he knew that no matter how shady J.R.'s business practices were – and they were often low and dirty – he would never endanger a family member, and that included Jamie, the one who was responsible for ending the Barnes Ewing feud once and for all. Jamie had convinced Cliff days before Pam's wedding to call off his plan with the cartel to form a consortium against J.R. Ewing. Jamie, who had always been a peacemaker, hated to see people fight, and J.R. wasn't just people, he was family, and close to her brother Jack, and friend Sue Ellen.

Jack still believed that J.R. knew more than he was letting on; he had kept most of the Martinique details a secret until the very last minute. But Jack saw now as an opportunity for answers, J.R. had no more reason to hide anything, the Angelica Nero saga had been made open through news reports in the United States and abroad. The capture of Angelica Nero made headlines everywhere, and all of her little secrets were becoming public.

Jack knew that he still had Ray on his side as well. Their past history had taught him that Ray was a good friend to have, honest, dependable and reliable. Ray Krebbs had always been straight forward in most everything he did, and it showed in the life he was leading. Ray grew from a simple ranch foreman to being a family man, starting his own business with Clayton.

Ray again found himself wondering if he was really cut out for the horse cutting business. His last attempt at big business – developing buildings with Jock – had been a huge failure that had taught Ray to stick with what he knew. But he knew cutting horses, he knew the land, and he knew Clayton. He also knew that Ben Stivers was the right man to take over Ray's old job. He couldn't help but smile at the dinner table, not noticing Donna's concerned demeanor as she kept a watchful eye over Tony.

After dinner the family retired to the living room for after dinner drinks. J.R. fixed Sue Ellen her favorite soda water and brought it to her chair, he took a seat right beside her and held her hand in his, nursing his bourbon in his other. Ray, Clayton, and Jack helped serve the drinks while the kids went off to play around in the ranch. There was an uncomfortable silence; no one knew quite what to say to the other.

Ellie clasped her hands together. "Ray, Donna, I hope you'll be joining us for more family dinners. Tony seems like a perfect fit."

"We'd be happy to Miss Ellie," Donna said, speaking for herself and Ray. "Tony should be able to grow up with a large family."

"He'll never be bored," Clayton laughed.

"I'm surprised how well John Ross and Christopher have accepted him," Ray commented. Donna sent Ray a questioning look.

"I'm not," Sue Ellen replied. "John Ross loves having a new friend."

"So does Christopher," Pam added. "Pretty soon he'll be like another brother."

"And Charlie a sister," Ellie added, looking at Jenna.

Pam looked down at the carpeting. She was going to have to get used to Jenna and Charlie being considered part of the Ewing family. What had seemed temporary a year ago seemed more permanent now, and Pam hated the discomforting feeling that it gave her. She also hated herself for feeling it. Bobby had passed away, and she had wanted to let her feud with Jenna die with Bobby, but there was something keeping her from accepting Bobby's first girlfriend as a friend. _Too many memories, _Pam thought.

Pam cleared her throat, announcing the fact that it was time for her to go. "I'm going to go check on Cliff again. I can't stand the fact that he's all alone in this."

"Let me know if you need any help," Jack said quickly. "He was a brother-in-law to me, and Jamie was really fond of him."

Jenna glanced from Pam to Jack. She had wanted to talk to him about their relationship, but it didn't seem the appropriate time. She felt an unnerving feeling of déjà vu when Jack talked with Pam, as if history was repeating itself. _She is not getting Jack Ewing without a fight, _Jenna thought to herself. _It's not enough that she got Bobby, even when we were engaged._

Jenna stood up with Jack. "I'd better be going too; Charlie and I have an early day tomorrow."

"I'll help round up the kids," Donna offered, leaving Ray in his seat.

J.R. touched Sue Ellen's shoulder. "I think that's our cue, Darlin'," J.R. joked. J.R. took Sue Ellen's arm in his and helped guide her up the stairs.

"Will you two be alright?" Clayton asked tentatively.

"I've got her," J.R. said firmly as they reached the balcony.

"Goodnight Clayton," Sue Ellen called.

"Goodnight," Miss Ellie said, waving with Clayton.

Clayton kept his eye on the top floor.

"You shouldn't worry so much about them," Miss Ellie said, detecting his nerves.

"How can I not worry? That man blinded her, and caused Jamie's death."

"That's not true – that was Angelica Nero," Ellie reasoned.

"Who was working with J.R.," Clayton countered, agitated.

"And Jack."

"Jack was doing a favor for J.R. – he isn't an oilman."

"Jack made the decision to work with J.R. and Angelica on his own."

"Look where that got him."

Ellie walked toward the bedroom, with Clayton following. "You haven't seen J.R. change the way I have."

"No, I suppose I haven't," Clayton admitted. "I don't believe it either. You said he changed two years ago when he remarried Sue Ellen, how long was it before he had another affair?"

"Stop it," Ellie said firmly. "I meant what I said earlier, you need to give J.R. a fighting chance."

Clayton sighed as he put on his pajamas. "How many more chances does a person deserve?"

Ellie raised her hand to her forehead. "Gary is in California, Bobby is dead, I will not lose J.R. because you can't live in the same house with him."

Clayton frowned. "I never said I couldn't live with J.R."

"I need peace in this family. With so much going on, we'll never make it through if we don't stand together."

Clayton paused for a moment. "If you had to choose between J.R. and myself,"

"You can't ask me that," Ellie insisted. "J.R. is my son!"

"And I am your husband!" Clayton peered at Ellie. "And you just answered my question." Clayton donned a bathrobe and left the bedroom, leaving a shaken Ellie behind him.

*****

J.R. and Sue Ellen stood in John Ross' bedroom and began to bid him goodnight. John Ross sat up in his bed.

"Mamma, would you like to know what color pajamas I'm wearing?" he asked excitedly.

"Sure," Sue Ellen smiled.

"Blue, because they are your favorite," he laughed.

Sue Ellen braced herself against the doorframe. She wanted to see her baby boy wear his blue pajamas, to see her husband when they had private conversations. "I'm sure you look very handsome." Sue Ellen leaned down for a hug and wrapped her arms around her son.

"Mamma, will you be here in the morning?" John Ross asked hesitantly.

"Why would you ask that, son?" J.R. wondered.

"I don't want mamma to go back to the hospital," John Ross said. "I want her to stay right here."

Sue Ellen choked back a tear, trying to be strong for her son. "I am not leaving you or your daddy," Sue Ellen promised. "I'll be here first thing in the morning."

"You too Daddy?" John Ross asked.

"Me too," J.R. smiled, ruffling his son's hair. "Now go to sleep. The sooner you go to sleep and wake up, the sooner we'll all be together."

John Ross rested against the pillows as Sue Ellen and J.R. turned out the light and walked arm and arm back to their bedroom.

*****

Donna and Ray tucked a reluctant Tony in bed before heading back to the living room. Donna sat in an armchair. The new house was so much bigger than Ray's original house where she had spent her first years with him.

"Would you like a drink?" Ray asked, heading to the kitchen.

"Sure," Donna replied, thanking Ray as he handed her a glass. "We'll need to be making decisions about Tony's schooling," Donna said absentmindedly, wondering about when the best time would be to bring up the issue that had been plaguing her for the past few weeks.

"He's attending Wood Grove with his friends," Ray said as popped open a beer.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a private tutor," Donna said. "To supplement the work at Wood Grove."

"Why this sudden change?" Ray asked. "Wood Grove was fine before."

"And it's fine now. But I want more for Tony; I want him to reach his full potential."

"Do you think a boy Tony's age is looking for more school?" Ray laughed. "He'd hate the idea."

"You don't know that. I had tutors, I turned out just fine."

Ray looked quizzically at Donna. "Is that supposed to mean something?"

"Don't you want what's best for Tony?" Donna sighed.

"Of course I do, I just don't want to rush into anything."

"It can't help to look. I've gotten some names from Wood Grove of quality tutors…"

"You're considering this without talking with me?" Ray cut in.

"You haven't been around, Ray. You've been spending all of your time with Jack."

Ray stood up. "Are we getting into this again?"

"We haven't resolved anything," Donna said.

"When Jack gets back on his feet, I promise to spend more time at home."

"But you should be spending time with me and Tony now."

"I haven't seen heard any complaints from Tony," Ray said somewhat defensively. "I am a good father."

"You are a great father," Donna said coming toward him. "With so much going on, I want the three of us together."

"We will be," Ray promised. "I am not going to let anything destroy my family."

"That's what I like to hear, Cowboy," Donna smiled, pulling Ray to the bedroom.

*****-

Jenna and Jack stood on the Southfork porch, deep in conversation.

"So New York went well?" Jack asked.

"It went wonderfully. I have new designs for the boutique; it is going to be better than ever."

"I'm sure it will," Jack said.

"You'll have to come by and see it sometime," Jenna added. "You'll barely recognize it."

"I promise to come by soon." There was a lull in the conversation as Jenna fidgeted with her blouse.

"Are you staying in Dallas?"

"Right now, I am. I'm thinking about going back into business with Clayton. After everything that's happened – I don't think I can leave yet."

"I feel the same way," Jenna said. "Charlie and I were all set to leave Southfork."

"Plans change."

"Yes they do." Jenna looked at Jack. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're staying in Dallas."

"Really?" Jack asked, intrigued.

"Well Charlie loves having you around," Jenna said quickly. "And I –," Jenna took a deep breath and decided to stop playing games. "I like having you around too."

Jack smiled a million-dollar smile. "Well I like the fact that you like having me around," he laughed, with Jenna joining. "You and Charlie – are part of the reason I'm staying in Dallas."

Jenna couldn't help but smile – she felt like a schoolgirl on a date that was going very well.

"I could settle anywhere," Jack admitted. "But I've been everywhere, and now I'm just looking –"  
"Yes?"

"For a place to call home," he said finally.

"Do you feel at home here?"

"Yes. The Ewings have always been good to me – even J.R. And you and Charlie – you are both very hard to pass up."

Jenna smiled to herself as Jack continued.

"You know, we've had conversations like this before, and they haven't gone very well."

"I wasn't ready for anyone then," Jenna admitted softly. "I was so distraught over Bobby – it wasn't about you, it was about relationships in general."

"I see that now, you needed time." Jack paused, scratching his chin. "Do you need more time?"

"No," Jenna said boldly. "I will always love Bobby – he was my first love – but he would have wanted me to move on. And you – I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since Pam and Mark's wedding."

Jack leaned into Jenna. "Neither have I." Jack and Jenna moved closer for a kiss, but they were interrupted by Miss Ellie.

"Jack, are you out there?" she called.

"Is something wrong, Miss Ellie?" Jack asked as he pulled away. Neither could hide their disappointment over being interrupted.

Ellie peeked out the door. "Pam was on the phone. Cliff is very upset and she was wondering if you could come and help calm him down."

"I'd be happy to," Jack said as he stood up.

"I'll tell her you'll be right over," Ellie said. "Goodnight Jenna."

"Goodnight Miss Ellie," Jenna said quietly as she stood next to Jack.

"I will call you tomorrow," Jack promised.

"I'll be waiting," Jenna replied.

Jack gave Jenna a gentle kiss on the cheek as he got into his car and left Southfork. Jenna slowly walked back into the house. _At least I was able to tell him how I felt. _She frowned, thinking about Jack going to see Pam at night. Their conversation indicated that he was interested in her, but Jenna was tired of sharing men with Pamela Barnes Ewing.

*****

Ellie spied Clayton in the kitchen and came in.

"Who was on the phone?" he asked.

"Pamela, calling for Jack about Cliff."

"How is he?"

"He isn't doing very well, Clayton. He's taken Jamie's death very hard."

"I can imagine," Clayton said grumpily. "I was very fond of her myself."

"As was I." Ellie sat next to Clayton. "I don't want to fight."

"Neither do I," Clayton admitted. "I promise not to start anything with J.R. But if he doesn't do right by Sue Ellen –"

"Then he will answer to both of us," Ellie promised. "But I don't think it will come to that Clayton."

Clayton smiled at his wife. "For everyone's sake, I hope you are right."

"I won't have him mistreating her anymore, I've watched quietly long enough. Years of battling between those two – he nearly drove her insane. But over the past several weeks – this whole year I've seen a change in him, where she is concerned. He's gentler, kinder, more considerate."

"I've seen it too, but I want it to last."

"I think that this was just the shock that J.R. needed to make his commitment to Sue Ellen permanent."

"Then you see the explosion as a blessing?" Clayton asked quizzically.

"If this family grows stronger because of the tragedy – than yes, I think it is a blessing in disguise." With that, the two went off to bed.

*****

Sue Ellen stepped out of the bathroom, her cane in hand. She was dressed in a pink spaghetti-strapped nightgown. J.R. came over to her side and helped her to the bed.

"Thank-you," Sue Ellen said as she lowered her body.

J.R. made sure she was tucked in and he went sat down by the chair near his side of the bed.

Sue Ellen waited for J.R. to get into bed. "Aren't you coming?" she asked.

"The doctor suggested that you sleep in the bed on your own for a few nights, until you are situated."

"J.R.," Sue Ellen said, "I don't believe that for a second."

"Dr. Armstrong said…."

"J.R., I don't care what the doctor said; I want you here with me."

J.R. cocked his head. "Sue Ellen –"

"If you don't join me, I'll sleep on the floor by your feet."

"You stay put," J.R. ordered.

Sue Ellen waited a beat and reached for her cane. J.R. jumped out of the chair and crawled into his side of the bed.

Sue Ellen smirked at winning the argument. She shifted closer to J.R. until she felt him near her. "I can't do this without you."

"You won't do this without me," J.R. vowed. "I swear, Sue Ellen, I am going to make this up to you."

"I don't blame you," she said as she cuddled closer.

_I blame myself,_ J.R. thought solemnly. _My own selfish stupidity._ "I love you so much." He gently kissed her lips.

Sue Ellen raised her hands to the side of J.R.'s face. "I love you too, J.R., I've always loved you."

J.R. continued his pursuit of Sue Ellen. He had always loved her – from the moment they met at the Miss Texas Pageant almost twenty years ago. But he never showed his love for her, not the way that he should have. J.R. had been drilled by his father to be a strong man's man, never showing fear or emotion. So J.R. had distanced himself from Sue Ellen, never letting her fully into his world. The past year had given him a change of heart. He had seen just how spectacular his wife truly was, how much he needed her in his life. She was more than just a trophy wife, or a date to social functions, she was an exciting, vibrant, desirable woman. And it had prompted him to change his ways – for her.

J.R. pulled her body closer to his, feeling her heart beat. _It should have been me who had gotten caught in that building – Sue Ellen didn't deserve that._ J.R. sighed, trying to hold back his fear.

Sue Ellen rested her head on J.R.'s shoulder; a tiny tear fell down her cheek. _Things were going so well between us – it had taken fourteen years to get to a place where we were both committed to one another and now, there's this._ She silently wondered how loyal her husband would be – whether he meant those words that he told Sue Ellen knew how J.R. valued beauty, he wanted the best of everything: the best food, the best clothes, the best deals, the best wife. She wondered how long he would wait for her to regain her sight, for her scars to heal, if they would heal.


	4. Chapter 4: Making Amends

Ellie meticulously set the breakfast table for another Ewing morning. Over the past week, family meals were becoming more and more important. Ellie found herself reminded of simpler days when the boys were young and Jock was still alive.

Ellie took her seat at the head of the table as Jenna and Charlie came downstairs.

"Good morning, Miss Ellie," they said in unison as Teresa served eggs, bacon, and toast.

"It is a good morning isn't it?" Ellie said with a smile.

"It's a big morning for me," Charlie said as she played with her cereal. "I'm going to high school for the very first time."

"You'll be fine," Jenna promised, giving her daughter a squeeze on the hand.

"J.R., Gary, Bobby, and Lucy, all went to Braddock High School and they had a wonderful time," Ellie said. "You'll fit right in."

"I hope so," Charlie said.

"I'll drive you to school myself on the way to the boutique," Jenna said as Clayton came into the kitchen, dressed for the day as he took a seat next to Ellie.

"What are your plans for the day, Clayton?" Ellie asked.

"I was going to work with Ben Stivers today on the ranch," Clayton said.

"Is it working out with him?" Ellie asked with interest. She had been reluctant to lose Ray as head foreman after years of service to the family, but Ray was adamant about having a ranch of his own, and having his horse cutting business with Clayton.

"He's doing well," Clayton said. "He takes direction, works hard; the other men seem to like him."

"But he isn't Ray," Ellie argued. She had taken issue with the man after finding several of Jock's belongings in his bunk, items that were cherished by her and her family. The explosion had prevented her from getting answers right away, no one else even knew of the findings, but that didn't mean that Ellie wasn't searching for answers.

"Ellie, I don't think that you are going to love anyone as much as you loved Ray," Clayton joked.

Ellie opened her mouth to speak, but John Ross came barreling down the stairs, with J.R. and Sue Ellen behind him.

"John Ross no running in the house," Sue Ellen reprimanded with a tight smile. She was growing more accustomed to her loss of sight, relying on her other senses, especially her hearing, more and more.

"You don't miss a thing do you, Mom?" John Ross asked as he took a seat by Charlie.

"You know what you were doing," she smiled, taking a seat next to J.R., feeling for her utensils at their regular position. J.R. marveled at his wife as she dug into her breakfast. She had retained as much of her independence as she could despite her temporary dilemma, facing the problem head on. Through practice, she became self-sufficient in her routine, and though J.R. found her stubborn, he wouldn't have his wife any other way.

"John Ross, how would you like a ride to school?" Jenna asked. "Your school is only a few blocks away from the high school."

John Ross looked to his father for approval and nodded his head. "Thanks." Kissing his mother and father goodbye, John Ross followed the Wade women out the door with his backpack.

Sue Ellen blotted her mouth with her napkin and traced her fingers on the tablecloth. Today she was going to the rehab center adjacent to Dallas Memorial Hospital. Dr. Armstrong had requested that Sue Ellen take weekly visits to monitor her progress. J.R., Miss Ellie, and Clayton insisted that she get accustomed to moving around the house before starting the program. Now she was itching to start something besides being around the house all day long. The family had been supportive of her as she grew found a new routine, but that didn't make staying around the house any easier. She missed Graison Research, and though Pam had promised her that her position was still available, she hadn't been able to go into the building yet.

"You ready Darlin'?" J.R. asked as he pulled her chair out for her.

Sue Ellen nodded her head, kissing Ellie and Clayton goodbye before heading for J.R.'s car out front.

"Dr. Armstrong seems to think you've been making progress," J.R. said as he turned the engine on.

"Hmm," Sue Ellen said absentmindedly, fingering the leather interior that she couldn't see. "He thinks I'm ready to interact with others." Sue Ellen sensed her husband's hesitation. "You can't keep me here forever, J.R. I need to get out."

J.R. looked straight ahead as he merged into traffic. "I still don't see why you need to be with complete strangers to deal with…."

"You can't even say it, can you?" Sue Ellen said with a scornful smirk.

"It isn't permanent."

"So everyone keeps telling me," Sue Ellen sighed.

J.R. placed one hand on Sue Ellen's. "Just hang in there."

Sue Ellen nodded her head. "Being at the rehab center will be good for me, J.R. I'll be able to meet new people, talk to professionals about how life is going – it's going to keep me grounded."

"But you have a houseful of people to talk to Sue Ellen."

"It also gets me out of the house," Sue Ellen said with a smile. "Until I'm ready to go back to work at Graison Research with Pam and Jerry. Besides, I'll only be at the center for one or two days a week at the most."

J.R. grimaced at the mention of Dr. Jerry Kenderson, aka Dr. Feelgood, the man who had tried to court Sue Ellen while she was separated from J.R.

"You don't have to frown like that," Sue Ellen laughed lightly. J.R. gave her a quizzical look and she smiled. "Just because I can't see doesn't mean that I don't know what you're doing."

J.R. squeezed his wife's hand. "He must be happy to be getting you back at the research center – you were an excellent fundraiser."

"I hope to do more this year."

J.R. pulled in front of the rehab wing of Dallas Memorial Hospital and helped Sue Ellen to the reception center where she was greeted by Dr. Armstrong and ushered to the back offices. J.R. waited until she was out of sight before he left.

Putting the car back into drive, J.R. headed for mid Dallas, to examine the offices at the Ewing building. The contractors had been working round the clock to ensure that the building was up and running again, and J.R. was now ready to look at the progress.

Part of him was looking forward to seeing what was different, being able to have a fresh start with the company, make the Ewing name strong again. _I'm going to make you proud of me daddy, _J.R. vowed, _you wait and see; but I'll be doing things a little different this time._

-----

Donna dropped Tony off at Wood Grove, waving to him as he left to join his friends for another day of learning. Donna regretted resigning as parent volunteer at the school, but with the new house, and being a new mother, Donna had wanted to take some time off, maybe work on her writing.

Returning back to the ranch, she wasn't surprised to see that Ray was already gone. After saying good morning to her and Tony, Ray left to go and finalize details with Jack and Clayton for the new horse cutting business. Ray had campaigned long and hard to get Jack to stay in Dallas, until he found something better, and now he was looking at a third partner for the venture.

Donna couldn't help recalling Ray's last mishap with business – land developing. It was an area that he was unfamiliar with, but Ray had always been a fast learner, and with Jock as a teacher, he was bound to succeed in time. But Ray moved too quickly – without Jock, and he had gotten hurt in the process – doubting himself and those who loved him.

It had taken time for Ray to bounce back from the setback, going back to ranching was healthy for him, and Donna knew that the two business scenarios were not the same. Ray had been raised around horses; he knew them better than anyone. Donna was sure that Ray would be successful this time, and that was what worried her: the success getting to his head, changing him from the down-to-earth cowboy she loved, to a business man. _I don't want him doing too much,_ Donna thought as she started her morning chores, _he's got a family now –that should be enough. _Donna paused, wondering if she was being selfish or holding Ray back. She shook her head; she always had his best intentions at heart, whether he knew it or not.

-----

Pam perused the fruit and vegetable section of the Dallas grocery store. It was part of her quest to make Cliff eat and be healthier. He was still unresponsive since the news of the explosion; he hadn't left the condo once since it had happened, and Pam was getting more and more concerned. Jack had been there to help when things were getting rough with Cliff, but Pam didn't want to rely on him, she wanted to take care of Cliff herself – he was all she had left, and she wasn't going to lose him too.

"Pam," an overly friendly shopper came up behind her.

Pan turned around and was face to face with Cliff's secretary, and her friend, Jackie Dugan. "Jackie," Pam said, pulling her into a hug, "What are you doing here now? Shouldn't you be at the office?"

Jackie slightly frowned. "The office has been pretty dead since Cliff hasn't been coming in," she admitted. "The different divisions are still functioning, but nothing can really be done without a company president."

Pam took a step back. She knew that Cliff needed to get back to Barnes Wentworth, but she had no idea it had gotten this bad.

"I've left messages," Jackie said, "on the machine, he never answers. He doesn't answer letters written by any of the executive heads."

"I didn't know it was this bad," Pam said. "I thought the company could run without him, everyone could keep working."

"Without an executive to make decisions?" Jackie asked. "I'm saying this as a friend and coworker. You own stock in that company, it would be in your best interest to get Cliff going again, not only for the company – but for him."

Pam and Jackie walked down the aisles. "He was so hurt by Jamie's death – right when things were going so well for them."

Jackie nodded her head. "The entire company sympathizes with him, but it's been several weeks Pam. There's a job to do."

"You're right," Pam said, "I'm on my way over to the condo now, I'll talk to him. He used to be so excited about business, ever since Gold Canyon 340 hit, he's been on a winning streak."

"Let's hope he stays there," said, squeezing Pam's hand as she left.

Pam waved at her friend as she filled her basket and headed to the checkout counter. _Cliff is due for an intervention, and I'm just the person to do it, _Pam thought as she walked out. Her promise to her mother, before she died was to take care of Cliff. Rebecca Wentworth knew that her son was not as strong as his younger sister; he needed someone to look after him, help him when he was down. When Cliff was on top, he acted as if he didn't need a person in the world, that he could handle everything himself. It was when Cliff faced a crisis that Pam became concerned. Losing Cliff on top of Bobby and Mark would destroy her – she needed someone to be there for her. _All we have is each other, _Pam thought again, putting the car into drive as she headed for the condo.

-----

J.R. was given the tour of the Ewing building by the contractors who were more than willing to take pride in a job well done. They truly had done a miraculous job, the rooms looked exactly the same, as if the explosion had never happened. The carpeting, the windows, the walls, the furniture were all intact and true to the original form.

"You did a wonderful job," J.R. muttered, sitting behind his desk. He would call Sly as soon as he could and tell her that the offices were now up and running. He would find a position for Phyllis, not wanting to fire her because Pamela left. J.R. nodded to the men as they left, and Harry McSween came into the room.

"The place looks great," he noted with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. J.R. had been one of his biggest supporters over the years, ensuring bank accounts and homes in various places, and he liked to think of the man as somewhat of a friend. He knew that J.R. would look out for him and see that he was provided for if anything ever did happen.

"Any more news on Angelica?" J.R. asked, skipping pleasantries.

"She's being transferred from Texas to a permanent high security prison in Europe – you will never have to hear from her again," Harry promised. "No court in the world is going to overturn her prison sentence without parole. She'll rot in jail."

"She should be done away with," J.R. muttered, thinking of all the trouble she caused for his family. His anger was directed at her, and also himself for getting involved with her in the first place. If he had done a better background check on her, he could have gotten out of the deal. He could have even wedged his way out after hearing that Jack was intended to pose as Dimitri Marinos, but he never did. Greed took over his senses and he committed Ewing Oil to one of the shadiest deals in the company's history. He was lucky that he came out alive, that the deal with Marinos Shipping came through and he was now getting his oil. Ewing Oil was bringing in millions and millions, but none of it mattered to him right now.

"Was there anything else you needed?" Harry asked tentatively.

J.R. shook his head. "You've done a good job Harry, making sure that woman had a quick hearing. You'll be rewarded. I'll call you if anything else comes up."

Harry nodded his head. "Tell Sue Ellen that I'm thinking about her," he said as he turned to leave.

J.R. pressed his hands against the back window. His wife was currently in the rehabilitation center going over his progress with doctors and ensuring her recovery. He wondered how much longer she would have to suffer. The doctors were so vague with the diagnosis, it was a relatively unknown disease, there was no way of predicting how long the blindness would last. _I am going to make this up to her, _he swore under his breath. It wasn't enough that Angelica was locked away in prison, he needed to more to lose the guilt that he felt for his wife. Several times a day he wished it had been him instead of her, that he never came to the office that Sunday, that she never came to see him. He had told her that he would be back. "Damn it Sue Ellen, why did you have to check on me!" J.R. yelled as he pounded the glass wall.

-----

Pam hoisted a full bag of groceries on her hip and left two by her feet as she opened the door – not bothering to knock. Pam carefully sidestepped Chinese food containers, beer bottles and cans, old newspapers, and old clothes as she made her way to the kitchen.

Pam took a step back, sensing an unsavory smell coming from the refrigerator. Aligning the groceries on the counter Pam deliberately walked into Cliff's bedroom in the back of the condo.

"Planning on going into work this morning?" Pam asked gently. Cliff was sprawled on the bed, fully clothed and gripping a carton of milk.

"I see no reason to," he muttered. "Gold Canyon 340 brings in all the profits Barnes Wentworth needs."

"That's not true and you know it," Pam reminded him, rummaging in his closet for the cleanest suit she could find. To her dismay, the closet was a hodgepodge of assorted garments, none intended for wearing.

"I find office work depressing," Cliff slurred as he reached on the floor by his bed for another can of relief.

Pam promptly took Cliff's drink away from him. "Cliff, there are things that need to be done at Barnes Wentworth – a company can't run without a president."

"And what kind of president was I?" Cliff countered, hoping that Pam would leave. "Gold Canyon 340 was a fluke, a set-up by J.R. that backfired on him. That was my one great contribution to the company."

Pam shook her head and knelt on the edge of the bed. "You were a great president. You know that, I know that, the company knows that – Jamie knows that…"

"I don't want to hear her name," Cliff cut her off. "If I hadn't of gotten involved in the oil business she wouldn't have had her accident in the Gulf." Cliff sat up, agitated. "And if you had never gotten involved with a Ewing – Jamie would still be alive today."

Pam shrunk back. Cliff was holding the same degree of hate that he held years ago, that a month ago, at her wedding to Mark, he had promised to extinguish.

"You can't think like that, Cliff. Jamie would want you to move on."

"I told you not to mention her name!" Cliff shouted. "And if you are so concerned about the fate of Barnes Wentworth, why don't you just run it yourself."

Pam stood up. "There are groceries in the kitchen; I've hired a cleaning service to fix the place up. I'll be back this afternoon." Pam reluctantly left; there was no point in arguing with Cliff when he was too angry to think. Cliff often let his emotions get the best of him, and that led to rash, destructive decisions, his most recent one was marrying Jamie for her potential Ewing shares. Cliff didn't thoroughly check to see if the claim was valid, or how Jamie felt about the inheritance, he married her to get what he wanted – and he wound up losing, risking Jamie in the process.

Cliff walked to the empty kitchen, shaking his head in disgust. _The Ewings have done it once again – J.R., Jack, all of them. _Cliff pounded his fist on the counter. _My daddy was right; the only good Ewing is a dead Ewing._

-----

Sue Ellen Ewing sat in her seat opposite counselor Dr. Dagmara Conrad, Pamela's counselor while she was in Brooktree after her breakdown. Dr. Conrad moved from Brooktree to Dallas Memorial when the rehabilitation wing was opened two years ago.

"You seem to be coping very well, Sue Ellen," Dr. Conrad complimented her with a smile. "How are things at home?"

Sue Ellen brushed her skirt and attempted a small smile. "Everyone has been very supportive of me Dr. Conrad…"

"Dagmara," the doctor reminded her with a grin.

"What frustrates me is that I don't know when my sight will come back – or if it even would."

Dagmara nodded her head. "How would you feel if you could never have your eyesight back?"

Sue Ellen frowned and squirmed in her chair. "Dr. Conrad, these past few weeks I haven't been able to be myself – something is different, something that I can't control. I can't bring my eyesight back – the Ewing money can't bring my eyesight back. I don't know if I'd be able to go on in this state of waiting, wondering what my future holds."

"Then it's a control issue," Dr. Conrad reasoned.

"My eyes are everything," Sue Ellen said softly. "As a beauty contest – no one bothered to care what I was like on the inside, all they saw was this exterior, it was all I had. Now it's damaged – and I don't know how to live without it."

"But you've come to rely on yourself quite a bit – Sue Ellen. Physically, you've adapted to nearly every challenge placed in front of you – right now you need to confront other areas."

Sue Ellen sat puzzled at Dr. Conrad.

"How did you view yourself before the accident, Sue Ellen?"

"I didn't realize analysis was part of the rehabilitation treatment," Sue Ellen said scornfully.

Dr. Conrad appeared unphased and continued. "My medical roots began in psychology Sue Ellen. Studying the human mind is the key to finding a balanced lifestyle."

"Did you know that I was a Miss Texas once?" Sue Ellen asked quietly. "Does that tell you anything about the life I was brought up in? My mother saw me as a glorified doll that she could dress and manipulate any way she wanted to. My entire life, people told me I was beautiful – that was the first thing they noticed about me. No one told me I was smart, or kind, or creative, I was just beautiful. It was my one trait that set me apart from others."

Dr. Conrad nodded her head, making notes. "Did you believe them?"

"I didn't have a choice. I was preconditioned to be a trophy wife for a wealthy gentleman – my mother made that decision the day I was born."

"We make our own decisions, Sue Ellen," Dr. Conrad said as she stood for the end of the session. "Do you want to give control to others for the rest of your life?"

"Right now I have no control," Sue Ellen gestured, pointing to her eyes. "I'm at the mercy of the hospital and my family."

"But not for forever," the doctor reminded her. "This was a good session, I look forward to seeing you again," she smiled, genuinely meaning her words. "Make sure to say hello to Pamela for me."

"I will," Sue Ellen said as Dr. Conrad led her out to the lobby. Sue Ellen turned a corner and was stunned to hear a familiar voice next to her.

"Sue Ellen Ewing."

Sue Ellen turned around, recognizing the distinct voice behind her instantly. "Jerry," she said breathlessly, caught off guard.

Dr. Jerry Kenderson was a close friend of Mark Graison, dating back to college years, and the friendship turned to business, the previous year when he was brought in to head Graison Research with Mark. He met Sue Ellen through the center and he found himself instantly attracted to her. At the time she was married to J.R. but living a separate life – a rule that wasn't applying now, and Jerry knew it.

"How are you doing?" he asked anxiously, taking a seat next to her. He gave her a friendly hug.

"Fine," Sue Ellen said with a small smile, grateful to see a friend. "I'm in therapy for the time being."

"Is it working out?" Jerry asked.

"I'll let you know after the next couple sessions," Sue Ellen smirked.

Jerry took Sue Ellen's hand. "You're missed by everyone at Graison Research – the temporary chief fundraiser isn't half as efficient as you are."

Sue Ellen laughed, turning red. "I'm sure that's not true."

"We can't wait for you to come back."

Sue Ellen blushed, telling Jerry that she would be coming back soon. "It will give me something to do besides sit around at Southfork."

Jerry chuckled at Sue Ellen's comment. "All this time I thought Southfork was paradise."

Sue Ellen nodded her head. "It's a perfect home – but sometimes you can get too much of a good thing."

"Understood," Jerry replied.

Sue Ellen patiently listened while Jerry caught her up on the details at the research center, and she couldn't help but think of all that she was missing. She had gained so much by getting a job of her very own – something that two years ago she had never dreamed of doing.

J.R. Ewing came into the hospital doors, ready to take his wife to lunch and narrowed his eyes at the scene before him – his wife with Dr Kenderson. _What is that man doing here, _he grumbled, hanging back for a brief moment. _You'd think he have some pride after being shot down, _he laughed, in an attempt to make himself feel better. There was a time when J.R. saw the honorable doctor as a threat to his relationship with his wife – but only for a moment. In an accidental conversation, Sue Ellen had indicated that her feelings for Jerry were strictly platonic. But that didn't mean that Jerry felt the same way about her. Regardless of Sue Ellen's feelings for him – J.R. wanted Dr. Kenderson out of her life – personally and professionally. He wasn't looking forward to her return to Graison Research. _Seeing that man for a couple hours a day, _J.R. thought silently. _I'm going to have to take care of that myself._

J.R. sauntered over to the couple and tipped his hat. "Keeping my wife company, Dr. Kenderson?" J.R. smirked.

Jerry turned a slight white at the sight of J.R. Ewing. Standing up, he extended his hand to his opponent. "Just finding out how she was doing," responded. "I hope that's alright with you?"

Sue Ellen stood and gave her husband a hug, hoping to diminish the tension. "You're early, Darlin'."

"I can see that," J.R. said, glaring at the doctor. "We should be going – we don't want to miss our lunch reservation."

Sue Ellen nodded her head, waving goodbye to Jerry as she headed with J.R. for the car.

Jerry watched Sue Ellen leave with her husband – silently seething. He wished he had the courage to stand up in front of the almighty J.R. Ewing and tell him exactly what he thought of him. To tell Sue Ellen that he still had feelings for her, that he deserved a chance to show her how great they could be together. Or how her husband would only break her heart again.

"You didn't have to do that," she said as she buckled her seatbelt in the confines of J.R.'s Mercedes.

"Do what?" J.R. asked innocently.

"J.R. – I may be blind, but I have my other senses – and I know you. You were jealous of Jerry."

"Jealous?" J.R. laughed as he paused at a red light.

"You know full well that I'm going to be working with him at the research center." Sue Ellen squeezed J.R.'s hand. "And that my heart belongs to you," she reminded him.

"I know," J.R. smiled, massaging her hand he reminded himself of how lucky he was to be given another chance with his wife. Which was why he wasn't going to let Sue Ellen's blindness, Ewing Oil, or an amateur doctor get in the way. _Old Harry still owes me a favor or two, _J.R. smirked, knowing that his research on Dr. Kenderson had barely scratched the surface.

-----

Ellie Ewing strolled out the front door and headed to the bunk house to check on the new foreman Ben Stivers. She still needed an explanation as to how he could have acquired Jock's possessions – items with him when he was in South America – that she assumed were lost forever. Ellie had chosen to deal with the matter herself rather than involve Clayton – who still resented Jock's place in Ellie's life, and her son, who was dealing with problems of his own. She had observed Ben's behavior since the incident and he hadn't done anything to rise her suspicion. He seemed to be able to get along with the other hands well – and he knew very well.

Ellie spied him by the stables and waved good morning.

"Morning ma'am," Ben called, walking over to her.

Ellie flashed Ben a tentative small and rested against the ranch fence. "How are things working for you at Southfork?"

"I'm mighty happy, ma'am," Ben nodded. "Feels like home here."

Ellie nodded her head. "If you've got a moment, I'd like to talk to you about something very important."

Ben's face turned a slight white – he knew what was happening.

Ellie went inside his room and sat down on a chair. "You seem to have acquired some of my husband's belongings."

Ben went to his desk and pulled out the artifacts that once belonged to Jock Ewing: photographs – pictures of Jock, Ellie, the children, all at different stages; Jock's old belt buckle with his insignia on it; letters that Ellie had written to Jock while he was away. "I was going to give these back to you ma'am – when the time was right, but you were so busy with the family…."

"How did you get them?" Ellie asked pointedly, cutting him off. "They were with him in South America when he died."

Ben nodded his head. "I remember ma'am. I was with your husband in South America – as a hired worker – employed by the government."

"You knew Jock," Miss Ellie stammered.

Ben nodded his head, handing her all of the items. "We became somewhat close there – especially during his final days. He told me if anything happened to him, I was to take his things and bring them to you."

Ellie stood up. "Jock Ewing died quite a few years ago."

Ben stood and hesitated slightly. "I had wanted to give them to you sooner, but I was badly hurt in South America, I was in a missionary hospital in France for some time. When I finally recovered, I wondered if I should try to give you the letters back. So much time had passed – you had moved on with a new husband."

Ellie grabbed the documents and turned around. "All of this time."

Ben took off his hat. "If you want me to leave the ranch ma'am – I'd be more than happy to."

"No," Ellie said sharply. "You aren't leaving yet." Ellie turned to face him. "Is there anything that you haven't given me or told me?"

"No ma'am," Ben said. "His final message was that he loved you all very much – he wanted to make sure that his things – especially the letters – got back to you."

"Tell no one about this," Ellie said finally, turning to go. "If this causes trouble for my family – I'll do more than fire you – I will make you sorry you ever came to Southfork!" Ellie stormed out of the house, clutching Jock's possessions in her arms. This was another piece of her husband – something to keep his memory alive, something she should have had years ago. Ellie wanted to fire Ben Stivers – to yell at him for keeping information away from her for so long – but Ellie had a feeling that Ben knew something that he wasn't admitting to – and Ellie wasn't going to let him leave until she found out what that was.

Ben watched her go, his body shaking. He was pulling off one of the biggest hoaxes in the world after making a deal with the devil. He slowly walked over to the phone and dialed a number. "It's me, she's got the stuff….I don't know whether or not she bought the story….I was as convincing as I could be....I still have the job, I don't think she's going to say anything yet….I don't like what we're doing!" Ben hung up the phone and angrily threw a glass against the wall. He was ready to leave, but there was something he still had to do.

-----

Sue Ellen sat across from J.R. as she sipped her water.

"I saw the offices this morning," J.R. said. "They look amazing."

Sue Ellen tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. "I'm happy you're so pleased – J.R.," she said, trying to hide her resentment. "I just don't want you hurt again."

"I won't," J.R. promised. "Angelica Nero is in the past."

Sue Ellen sighed slowly.

"I'm thinking about making some changes at the office," J.R. said. "So that I can spend more time with you and John Ross."

"What kind of changes?"

"I was thinking of bringing in a partner of sorts –someone to stand in for me when I'm not in the office. The person wouldn't own stock in the company – it'd be more of a figure-head position, to spread out the work."

"You really want to spend more time at home?" Sue Ellen asked softly, not believing her ears.

J.R. nodded his head. "I lost you once Honey, I'll be damned if that ever happens again." J.R. kissed his wife on the cheek. "I'm not the same man I was a year ago."

Sue Ellen smiled as she leaned into J.R.'s touch. Right now, despite her blindness, she was in heaven.

-----

J.R. returned to the office after lunch to do his final business-deal of the day. It was part of rectifying his past – starting over – and carrying on his father's legacy, and even Bobby's legacy, the right way.

"They're here, J.R., - all three of them," Sly called over the intercom.

"Send them in," J.R. said as he pulled out three contracts – all holding the same terms.

The door opened and Jordan Lee, Marilee Stone, and Andy Bradley stood in the doorway, none of them pleased to see J.R. Ewing.

J.R. nodded hello and offered them a drink.

"I'll skip the drink – thanks," Marilee said coolly, leaving her purse on a chair.

The men nodded in agreement.

"We're only here because we're so curious about what you have to say," Jordan added.

"After you made out once again with that Marinos Shipping deal – you must be pretty pleased," Andy said spitefully.

"Now that is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about," J.R. said as he handed each individual their contract. "I realize that you're all disappointed with the way this deal turned out, but it's not too late to change it."

"These are the original contracts," Marilee said, peering at the notes.

J.R. held a pen in his hand. "You'll each once one-third of the Marinos Shipping deal – with 15% of your royalties going straight to Ewing Oil."

"Why are you doing this?" Jordan asked, folding his arms. "You're making a killing off this deal – why spoil it."

"Well," J.R. began, "Call it a PR move," J.R. laughed.

"What's the catch?" Andy asked. "You can't expect us to believe that you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart."

"There is no catch," J.R. said. "All I ask is that there will be no more talk of a consortium against Ewing Oil. My daddy and brother Bobby enjoyed a lot of deals with you over the years – and I would like to think that you all can do business with Ewing Oil once again – there are plenty more deals to be made in the future."

Marilee shook her head. "How much are you selling these shares to us for?"

"Same price as before," J.R. said. "You know it's a good deal, now that those wells are running, it's risk free."

The Cartel members didn't need to consult one another on this deal – they all knew the answer.

"How about that drink J.R.?" Marilee asked with a sly smile.

J.R. laughed and walked over to the bar, serving the Cartel.

"I have to tell you – this is the last thing I expected when I came here today," Andy said as he signed the contract. "Thank-you J.R."

Marilee left after Andy and Jordan stayed around for a minute.

"You're daddy would have been proud of you today, J.R.," Jordan said. "And probably a little shocked."

J.R. smirked at Jordan. "You think I'd really cheat you all?"

"I don't know what to think about you," Jordan said. "Now that you've got us back, are you expecting us to turn our backs on Barnes-Wentworth?"

J.R. sipped his bourbon. "You were never that close with Barnes-Wentworth to begin with, Jordan. You've got a history with Ewing Oil."

"True. Rumor has it that Cliff hasn't been in the offices since the accident," Jordan added.

"He misses his wife," J.R. said slowly, feeling a tinge of sympathy for his rival.

"Speaking of wives, how is Sue Ellen holding up?"

"She's getting better – the doctors are convinced that she'll make a full recovery."

"That's wonderful," Jordan said, getting ready to leave. "You take care J.R."

"You too," J.R. said. He turned to the window and looked at the Dallas skyline. _I'm fixing everything daddy – one day at a time – I'll put the family back together again._

Chapter 5: An Unlikely Homecoming

Ellie sat on her stool in the kitchen, furiously obsessing over her chocolate chip cookies. Her anger and frustration were misdirected at Ben Stivers, whose unlikely story had perplexed her for most of the afternoon. _If anyone knows anything about Ben and what happened in South America, it would be Jock's best friend Punk, _Ellie thought, leaving her cookies to get to the house phone. She quickly dialed, hoping to bypass Mavis and talk to Punk right away. Mavis was her very best friend, but what Ellie wanted were answers, not companionship. She breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing Punk's booming voice.

"Hello Ellie," Punk said jovially. "Would you like me to get Mavis for you?"

"No Punk. Punk, are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon?"

"There's nothing I can't move around for you Ellie."

"Wonderful," Ellie smiled. "It's about Jock."

"Jock?" Punk queried. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," Ellie admitted. "The most peculiar man – our new foreman, acquired several of Jock's personal items from when he was in South America."

"What's his name?" Punk asked in a low voice.

"Ben. Ben Stivers – does that name ring a bell?" she asked urgently.

"Ben Stivers. There was a man named Ben Stivers on the crew in South America – but I don't know how he knew Jock."

"I need to see you tomorrow," Ellie said. "I don't trust this man."

"Meet me at the house," Punk agreed.

"Punk – please don't tell anyone – not even Mavis – not yet anyway."

"I won't tell a soul," Punk promised as he hung up the phone.

Ellie exhaled as John Ross, and Charlie came in through the door, back from school.

"How are you two doing?" Ellie asked with a smile.

"School was great grandma," John Ross declared, eying the chocolate chip cookies.

"You'll have to tell me something more than just 'great' in order to get a cookie," Ellie teased.

"My new teacher is really neat – she's taking us on a nature walk next week."

Ellie smiled and slid two cookies next to John Ross, who gratefully took them and left. "How about you Charlie? How was your first day of high school?"

Charlie picked up a cookie and began to nibble. "It sure is big – and I still don't know that many people – I've only in Braddock for a year."

"Do you think you'd be happier in your old school district?" Ellie asked.

"It's too soon to tell," Charlie said. She looked at Miss Ellie, a woman that she almost considered a grandmother. "I have friends at school, but it doesn't feel like home – I haven't grown up with these people."

"I understand," Ellie nodded. "You just need to give it some time, and if you still aren't happy, you may be able to go back to your old school district."

"Really?" Charlie asked her eyes lighting up. "Do you think mamma would mind?"

"I know for a fact that your mother wants what's best for you," Ellie told her. "Even if that means attending a different school. But you have to give Braddock High a shot."

"I will," Charlie promised enthusiastically as she finished her cookie and waved goodbye.

-----

The family gathered in the living room for another evening of cocktails and conversation before dinner. Pamela had chosen to decline Miss Ellie's invitation and keep a late night at Barnes Wentworth, getting the company back on track. Tony and John Ross played with model trains on the floor as Charlie observed them over the cover of her history book while she waited for her mother to come home from the boutique. Jenna had called that afternoon to say that everything was going well an business was still strong. Donna helped Ellie with dinner while Ray, Jack, and Clayton discussed the horse cutting business.

Sue Ellen sat at her vanity and ran her hairbrush through her curls, waiting for her husband to appear from the closet. "What did you do at Ewing Oil today?"

J.R. knelt next to his wife and kissed her on the cheek. "I had a meeting with the cartel."

"I thought they weren't speaking to you," Sue Ellen said, reaching for J.R.'s hand.

"Let's just say that I got myself back into their good graces – I'm sharing the wealth with the Marinos Shipping deal."

Sue Ellen lowered her head at the mention of the deal that Angelica Nero had tried so hard to push and destroy.

"Honey our troubles with Marinos are over," J.R. promised, squeezing her hand. "Those wells are pumping fine on their own; I've got a great crew monitoring them." J.R. ran his fingers through Sue Ellen's hair. "I won't ever have to go back to Martinique ever again," he promised.

Sue Ellen stood up to go to dinner. "Promise me there won't be any more unpleasant surprises like Angelica Nero," she said softly. "I want to be involved in every part of your life."

"And you are." J.R. opened the door to go down the hall. "In fact, I am going to be having a conversation with Cousin Jack about coming back to Ewing Oil on a more permanent basis."

"Do you really think he'd be interested?" Sue Ellen asked. "When I last spoke to him, he seemed to be done with Ewing Oil."

"He still has 10%," J.R. pointed out. "And his father's legacy to fulfill. Jack is big on family – he came through before."

"What about the horse-cutting business that he has with Clayton and Ray?"

"He isn't fully committed to that – it's more Ray's project."

"Well I hope you get what you want," Sue Ellen said.

"I always do, Sugar," J.R. laughed. "One way or another." J.R. led her down the stairs and fixed her a drink.

Jenna came through the front door, all smiles as she ran into Jack. She hadn't been able to see very much of him over the past week, they had both been very busy and she had hoped to finally start from where they left off, with the promise of a relationship.

"Let me take your coat," Jack offered, admiring Jenna's figure.

"Hi mamma," Charlie said, giving her a quick hug. "We weren't sure if you'd make it before dinner."

"You will not believe how busy the boutique is," Jenna exclaimed, glowing with excitement. "The new designs are flying off the shelves, there are back-orders on several products – business is great."

"That's wonderful to hear," Ellie said.

Jack and Jenna excused themselves and went into the kitchen.


End file.
